Friday, September 30, 2005

Cool New Yarn!

Yay and hooray for treats in the mail!! Today I got my yarn from Insubordiknit and I absolutely love it. Here is an attempt at a photo:



Black yarn is impossible (for me) to photograph. I only wish this yarn could talk so it could tell me what it wants to be! I swatched it (another terrible photo) and the one thing it said loud and clear was NO MOSS STITCH. And at first I thought it said “I don’t like garter, it looks like kindergarten.” But then maybe it also said “Garter makes flat edges.” I love it in stockinette, but I’d like to make something funky, and stockinette is maybe not so good for a funky garment.

I even consulted the mistress of funkiness, Teva Durham, whose book (Loop-d-loop) I just checked out of the library. Although may of the designs were lovely, I have a special message for the author.

YOU NEED TO FEED THOSE MODELS OR THEY ARE GOING TO DIE!!

You don’t want someone to die in your knitwear, do you? Look at this arm:



Reader, does this look like your arm? No, not my arm either. What about this tummy:




My tummy does not resemble this one at all. I would perhaps disown my family or even give up cheese if I could have a tummy like that. Yes, you too?

I fear to make this knitwear - what if it is only appropriate for those of no tummy and no arms? Do these patters take into account those with more ample parts? If I were cleverer knitwise, maybe I could look at these patterns and determine whether they would work for me, but considering my limited knitmagination when transferring ideas from page to person, I am not going to risk it. Especially in my easily stressed nonsmoking state. And I'd like to give a special thank you to everyone for your encouragement on the smoking (or lack thereof)!!

In other knitting news– here is a long pink sock!



This was kool aid dyed with cherry and grape and was a much darker color until it dried. I'm thinking of doing a few increases and going all the way up the calf to make a fun kneesock, but I'm not sure how much I'll like a kneesock that is ribbed the entire way up.

And whats that you say? Union Square Market what? I don’t think I have any idea what you’re talking about. Maybe you have me mixed up with someone else. Move along please, there is nothing to see here.

UPDATE - Just wanted to spread this message, stolen from Cara

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

I support gay marriage with no reservation whatsoever.

2 comments:

CLQ Editor said...
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Ashley said...

Oooh those skinny models. That is why they can get away with all those bulky-yarn projects. Whereas on me (who will under no circumstances give up cheese--why would you say such a horrible thing?) bulky sweater + bulky bod=no thank you very much, Teva.