MeBeth Rambles

Procrastinator!

2007-07-29T16:22:00.000-04:00

All my fingers spontaneously turned to Twizzlers a few weeks ago and that’s why I haven’t been able to blog! Have you ever tried to type with licorice? Not easy, I tell you.*

Really, the excuses for my absence are duller than dull (worky work, Potter-mania, blah blah boring), and I’m so far behind on my blog reading that I finally had to just clean the Bloglines slate and “mark all read.” But hey, I’m back now. And Holy Shit the sockapalooza deadline is like 4 days away! How many days does July have? Crap. And so all of a sudden I’m knitting like a fiend despite a nasty case of trigger finger in my left hand. Send ice packs and Advil.

*What you can do with a Twizzler is bite off each end and use it as a cocktail straw for your bourbon drink. Thank god I went to law school so I could learn that valuable piece of knowledge!

Socks and Tag

2007-07-03T15:16:00.000-04:00

Katie tagged me for the Wikipedia birthday meme

Type in your birthday month and day only. Post 3 events, 2 births and one holiday that occurred on your birthday.

Events:

1938 - Norway claims Queen Maud Land in Antarctica. (I have a fascination for all things Norse.)

1967 - The Human Be-In, takes place in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park, launching the Summer of Love. Between 20,000 to 30,000 people attend. (Sounds great in theory, but in actuality was probably sort of smelly.)

1972 - Queen Margrethe II of Denmark ascends the throne, the first Queen of Denmark since 1412 and the first Danish monarch not named Frederick or Christian since 1513. (About time!)

Births:

83 BC - Marcus Antonius, Roman politician

1875 - Albert Schweitzer, Alsatian physician, Nobel laureate

Holiday:

Makar Sankranti in India. The event is marked by flying kites.

In knitting news, it’s all socks around here. I started these for my sockpal (Trekking XXL), whose sole request was for stripes:

Unfortunately, they’re not so stripey as one would have hoped. I popped over to Purl the other day before work and picked up some of their custom color sriping Lorna’s. So far they’re striping much more satisfactorily but, as you can see, little progress has been made.

Knitters on Mars?

2007-06-19T12:45:00.000-04:00

The European Space Agency (ESA) seeks volunteers for a simulated trip to Mars. Volunteers will spend 17 months in an isolation tank on Earth, with little contact with the outside world. One of the main criteria for applicants is that they have the ability to stay sane while cooped up in a small space for such an extended period.

The ESA would be well served investigating the knitting community for potential applicants – who else relishes a long subway ride for that extra time to turn a heel? Sees a power outage as an opportunity to light some candles and finish the second sleeve? And what knitter wouldn’t relish the opportunity to shop for a stash that would last the trip?

Back to Reality

2007-06-10T09:27:00.000-04:00

We’re back, and holycrapParisisbeautifulIwanttomovetheretomorrow. We had a lovely time in France, both in Paris

Excuse the hair, I'm soaking wet. Look at the tower!

And in the Dordogne valley

The trip was perfect – we kept busy, we relaxed, and most of all we walked. We walked all over Paris

And every part was as beautiful as the one before. Really, 90% of the city was startlingly lovely. I don't know what they do with their bad architects, export them to us perhaps?

Then we took the train to Bordeaux and drove east to the Dordogne Valley to see some pretty old and pretty amazing chateaux.

We ate ourselves silly.

I didn’t really knit at all.

The other big news around here is that I start back to work tomorrow at the restaurant and I’ll be starting a new position on the hot line. Pasta! I’m excited but also pretty nervous – in this restaurant, pasta is the toughest spot on the line and really physical work. I hope I don’t make a fool of myself!

Thank You

2007-05-09T11:51:00.001-04:00

I’ve been trying to figure out what to write here on the blog and I’m just not sure what to say except thank you all so much for the love and support through this difficult time. I just cant tell you how much it means to me to feel surrounded by such caring people and even though I haven’t been emailing I’ve read every one of your comments over and over again.

Juan and I are doing ok, he took a short leave of absence from work so that we could be together, and we’re planning a trip to France just to get away for a while. This experience is by far the most difficult one either of us has had to go through, and we’re muddling through the best we can. I think it’s going to help me to get back to some of my normal activities, so I’m going to try to return to posting regularly on the blog.

I just want to say thank you again to everyone out there commenting or emailing or just keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.

Beth

Lucas

2007-04-18T09:22:00.000-04:00

Last Thursday, April 12, our baby Lucas was stillborn as a result of an umbilical cord accident. At birth, Lucas was 38 weeks old, weighed 7 pounds, was 20 inches long, and was a beautiful baby. We miss him very much.

38 Weeks – The Wall

2007-04-11T07:44:00.000-04:00

I’m officially at 38 weeks, one hundred million pounds, and 47 to do lists. Most everyone I know was like “Baby – get out!” at this point in their pregnancy, but for me, not so much. As a matter of fact, I find myself superstitiously unable to finish any of the baby sweaters for fear that FOs will induce labor. So it’s been all sunrise circle jacket, miles of orange tweedy stockinette with just enough increasing and decreasing to distract me from yet another episode of Mythbusters.

As of today our apartment now has two bedrooms and one significantly smaller living room. Here’s a photo before The Wall…

And after…

I nearly had a nervous breakdown throughout the installation process, as our renovations were not approved by the building and we were trying to be sneaky. Unfortunately, it’s not easy to sneak 8 foot pieces of sheetrock up the service elevator without pretty much everyone catching on. I think the only reason the management didn't stop us was their fear that I'd go into labor right then and there.

And hey, it’s Sockapalooza time again – head on over and sign up today!

I Am the Champion

2007-03-27T09:44:00.000-04:00

The thrill of victory is sweet, my friends. Especially when you’ve worked long and hard, training and preparing and devoting yourself to that elusive goal.

Ok, I didn’t actually do any of that challenging stuff, but I’m still a winner because I (almost) guessed how many books are in Minty’s knitting library! Check out my prize…

2 skeins of Claudia Hand Painted in the Blue Sky colorway.

I’m thinking Minty's Anastasia socks will show this yarn to it’s best advantage! I don't know if I can resist casting on this afternoon. Nevertheless, the Festival of Finishing is by no means over. I’m working on a bunch of things at the same time, so nothing is really finished but everything is just a little bit closer.

Festival of Finishing – Day Three

2007-03-21T19:40:00.000-04:00

Today at jury duty I overheard/spotted something too priceless not to share -- A woman sitting in the jury waiting room reading Oedipus aloud to her teenage son. Ahhhh! Did the cautionary elements of the story totally escape her? Was she a seventh grade teacher trying to reinforce the message of the story? Yikes!

Now off we go to the Festival of Finishing!

Today we have a very manly kimono, modeled by the ever cooperative Cocoa Bear.

Here’s a bear-free shot so you can see the crochet neckline and stripe detail.

True, it’s not technically a kimono, not by a long shot, but the design was inspired by this little sweater…

The Mason Dixon baby kimono I knit for Baby Gleek, who will be joining us verrrrry soon.

For the Baby Gleek Kimono and the modified Manly Kimono I used the same yarn, Lily Elite Cotton, knit on #7 needles. To create the modified Manly Kimono I just followed the Mason Dixon directions, stopping at the bottom of the V on each side (21 stitches), then joining the two sides together to create a one-piece front.

Festival of Finishing – Day One

2007-03-19T21:11:00.000-04:00

As promised, this week I’m having a fantastic festival of finishing! Today’s FOs are not the most exciting, but I’m starting slowly and working my way up to what promises to be a very sweater-heavy end of the week.

Argentina Socks

I originally started these as a gift for my husband to wear to the World Cup this summer, but had to take a time out when I started my new job back in June. I just finished them up last week and now they’re mine, all mine! (Because horizontal stripes are so slimming on pregnant ankles!)

Yarn: Blue and white Regia (german words, more german words) Nation Color 4 ply
Needles: Addi #2s
Pattern: Plain old toe up stockinette with short row heel, using 52 stitches.

And a Mason Dixon Baby Genius Burp Cloth, for my very own soon-to-be-arriving baby genius. Coincidentally knit in my high school colors, black and gold. Go Bulldogs!!

Actually next week at the doctor I’ll find out whether he’s really a genius and has gotten himself in the correct upside-down position or if he perhaps needs a little more time/coercion in that department. (Will it help if I do somersaults in the swimming pool?)

Yarn: Lily Sugar ‘n Cream Cotton
Needles: Crystal Palace #7s
Pattern: Mason Dixon Baby Genius Burp Cloth, no modifications.

Stay tuned tomorrow for part 2 of the festival!

A Tale of Two Piles

2007-03-16T07:54:00.000-04:00

I've been knitting and knitting and knitting, and I really don’t have any pretty little things to show for it. Instead, I have two piles. Here’s pile number one…

It’s the back and left sleeve/front of a Sunrise Circle Jacket inspired by Christy’s recently completed Sunrise Circle. Seeing her jacket jogged something in my memory, something about having 7 skeins of Rowanspun DK in the exact same color hanging around my stash.

I swatched.

Gauge was perfect. I’ve never gotten such perfect gauge in my life. Row gauge too! I just started on the right sleeve/front and I hope to make lots of progress on this one because I’ll be attending a class all weekend and should have lots of time to knit.

What about pile number two? Pile number two is an embarrassment. A pile of shame. A pile that was staring me in the face and making me feel guilty until I shoved it in a drawer. Here’s pile number two…

I finished knitting all of these projects, but I just cant bring myself to finish the finishing. I’ve got one pair of socks (really, how hard it is to weave in a few ends), a burp cloth, and six (yes SIX) baby sweaters in need of seaming and/or buttons. Disgraceful. I'm declaring next week to be my own personal Festival of Finishing - hopefully this public shaming will keep me honest.

The Awwwww Heard Round the World

2007-03-09T08:48:00.000-05:00

Somehow, while knitting an absolutely fabulous EZ Fishtrap Aran, Sarah found the time to make me this adorable baby sweater. Check it out...

And the cutest little knitting card

I've been mulling over a theory for a while now, and I think it's time to share it with everyone. Knitting is far more than just a hobby, it's fifth grade science in action. Remember learning that the animals that reproduce themselves are the ones that thrive? Well, all of these super cute baby goodies certainly give one an incentive to procreate. Thus, it is clear that baby knits and the knitters that knit them and are doing their part to ensure the continuation of our species. Ergo, survival of the craftiest!

Who said that philosophy degree wouldn't be useful later in life!

Thank you again Sarah!!

And the Winner Is...

2007-03-05T07:42:00.000-05:00

Courtney from Yarn Tootin'! Courtney, just email me at holdtheraisins[at]yahoo[dot]com so that I can figure out how to get you your spinnerific prize. Thank you all SO MUCH for the name ideas - there are some really great choices in the comments and I bet we'll end up picking one. As I mentioned in the last entry, we're not going to finalize the name until we meet our baby in person in 7 weeks or so. I'll reveal our selection then!

Name My Baby!

2007-02-28T10:08:00.000-05:00

It’s a blog contest!! In case you missed the news, I’m pregnant. I have two more months left, but we’ve already started preparing for the baby. Part of the preparation process, especially for apartment dwellers, is the purging of the belongings! Another part of the process is the choosing of the name. With this contest I’m trying to accomplish both.

The Prize…

One Ashford drop spindle and two bunches of purply blue roving (85% wool, 15% mohair). Don’t worry, my attempt at “yarn” currently on the spindle will not be included. This drop spindle is pretty heavy, so it’s well suited for spinning chunky yarn.

To Enter…

All you have to do is name my baby! No, seriously. Just leave a comment to this post (or email me at holdtheraisins[at]yahoo[dot]com) with a boy’s name that works in both Spanish and English. For example, Nicholas/Nicolas or Sebastian. The name doesn’t have to be exactly the same in both languages, Mattias/Matthew or Alejandro/Alexander would work just fine. I’ll throw the entries into a hat and pick out one. Although the name I pick wont necessarily be the name I give to the baby, that person WILL win the spindle and the roving.

The Rules…

If you DON’T want the spindle and roving, but you want to make a suggestion, feel free, just let me know in your comment that you don’t want to be entered into the contest.

I’m just trying to get IDEAS for names – I can’t promise that I’m going to use one of the names suggested in the comments! But, if I do use one of the suggested names, I’ll give that person a prize too (but not till after the baby is born, in approximately 7 or 8 weeks).

I don’t want to spend a fortune in shipping, so North American entrants only, please.

Get your entries in by Sunday, March 4 at 8pm!

Strike A Pose

2007-02-23T11:09:00.000-05:00

Last weekend I was chatting with some folks and someone raised one of the great existential knitblogging questions of our time…

How do you photograph your own handknit socks?

I usually go for the bend and click, but this does not show off the socks to their greatest advantage. Other sock enthusiasts set up the self timer and don a pair of heels. Some use props. Here’s a little photo essay of my pinstripe jaywalkers.

Yarn: Lorna’s Laces, pinstripe colorway
Needles: Size 1 circulars
Gauge: 68 stitches around leg, about 4 fewer on bottom of foot where I used plain stockinette.

The classic bend and snap…

A puppet show with a friend …

Dancing on the ceiling…

Still learning how to use the self-timer…

Showered with Goodies!

2007-02-20T13:31:00.000-05:00

This Sunday the Spiders threw a fabulous baby shower for me and Gleek at Red Bamboo! We were treated to gifts and snacks and delicious cake and the mimosas (and ginger ale) were flowing freely. Just take a look at all the amazing knitting…

Blankees and soakers and burp cloths and wash cloths and bibs (go Gryffindor!) and the cutest baby booties I’ve ever seen in my entire life! Not only that, but I got plenty of washcloths and onesies and a very sporty changing pad, so I’m much more prepared and also perhaps in contention for a best-dressed baby award! It was an amazing shower - thank you all SO MUCH!!

One more shot of those booties…

Receiving all these wonderful goodies really inspired me to keep up with my baby knitting for others - hopefully I'll be able to unveil more of those secret projects soon!

Secrets and Dishcloths and Ice Cream, Oh My!

2007-02-15T10:41:00.000-05:00

I’ve been up to my ears in secret knitting lately. I suspect that the parents of the potential recipients are too busy taking care of newborn babies to be reading my blog, but I’m not taking any chances – just a few more days and I can post the pics.

In the meantime, I also knit a dishcloth.

Modeled above by the tub because the kitchen sink was full of dirty dishes. I used the 3 and 1 Checked pattern from this site. Dishcloth knitting is the ultimate commitment-phobe project. You use crap yarn, it takes about two hours, and there are four ends to weave in when you’re finished. Perfect for when you’re not quite ready to commit to a new sweater but just rented two movies and need a little something to keep your hands busy.

Also, if you’re bitter about not getting a snow day, here’s a fun way to waste time at work. Using the Ben and Jerry’s Flavor Generator you can submit suggestions for new flavors. In the past few months I’ve been running pretty extensive testing on the existing flavors so I consider myself an expert in this field.

The Fun Never Ends

2007-02-08T06:53:00.000-05:00

Before...

After...

Fiber Trends Felted Clogs. Just like the Harlot said, you never get sick of these clogs.

My felting method is pretty unorthodox – I just throw the item in the washer with my regular dark colored laundry, wash on warm for a regular cycle, and throw in the dryer. I use the industrial machines at the laundromat, so I don’t worry about fuzzies clogging the machines, nor do I check the progress of the felted item during the wash process. In fact, the washers are front loading and you can’t even open them mid-cycle. It seems to work just fine. They never quite dry fully. Thus blocking, whereupon I stick my feet into the warm moist clogs and wear them around the apartment, is the least fun aspect of the whole process.

Finished Swallowtail

2007-02-05T18:07:00.000-05:00

The Pattern: Swallowtail Shawl by Evelyn Clark, Interweave Knits Fall 2006
Needles: Brittany Birch size 4 (Use the pointiest you’ve got. Mine were stubby but I didn’t want to buy a new pair.)
Yarn: Misti Alpaca Lace, color unknown (ballband MIA)
Gauge: Swatch? What’s a swatch?

I love this shawl, it’s soft and cozy without being too bulky. I’m not much of a triangular shawl wearer (too Victorian for me) so I’ve been wearing this one wrapped around my neck scarf-style. Sorry about the lack of outdoor photos of the scarf in action, it’s about negative 80,000 degrees outside and my coat no longer buttons across my middle, so I’m only venturing outdoors in the event of a dire emergency (i.e. if I run out of Ben & Jerry’s).

(Silent) Poetry Reading Day

2007-02-02T14:05:00.000-05:00

It’s (Silent) Poetry Reading Day in the world o’ blogs, and I’m really enjoying everyone’s contributions.

Mine is inspired by a recent bathtub visitor in my apartment.

The Centipede
by Ogden Nash

I objurgate the centipede,
A bug we do not really need.
At sleepy-time he beats a path
Straight to the bedroom or the bath.
You always wallop where he’s not,
Or, if he is, he makes a spot.

P.S. – There are no funny poems about groundhogs out there, I checked.

P.S.S. – The swallowtail shawl is blocking at this very moment on navy blue towels. (Blue shawl + blue towels = really boring photo.)

Faster Than a Speeding Swallow

2007-02-01T10:54:00.000-05:00

A certain chic knitblogger gave me just the encouragement I needed the other night – I’d been thinking about lace and had my eye on the Swallowtail Shawl . “It’s easy” she said, “you’ll be done in a week.”

Crazy, I know, a lace shawl in a week, but here it is...

Fine, it’s been more like 10 days, but that’s still pretty fast. I think I’ve discovered the secret to lace knitting – Don’t Look Back. If I don’t have enough stitches I just pick one up; too many and I k2tog. Tinking lace is just about as fun as the wax based method of personal epilation and in both cases I usually just end up making the situation worse. When knitting lace it’s best to just embrace your mistakes and soldier on, rather than obsessing about the finer details. (Some may argue that the whole point of lace is the finer details, but those people also have alphabetized spice racks.)

If I can find some pins I'll be blocking tonight and have FO photos tomorrow.

A Rotten Start

2007-01-15T12:12:00.000-05:00

Thank you all so much for your kind baby wishes - I really appreciate it!! Hard to believe I only have about three months left.

My 2007 got off to a pretty foul start. Here are just a few tidbits of the awesomeness that was last week: The bloody nose I got while wandering tissue-less somewhere on 16th street between 8th and 9th Avenue - hello meatpacking district revelers, I’m not a derelict coke addict, just a pregnant lady bleeding out the nose into her scarf. (Don’t worry, not a handknit, just a fake pashmina.)

Then, on the same theme, some bloodletting at the doctors office, and then the waiting, and then the taking of more blood, and then, well, perhaps a bit more waiting. Just drink this, it will only give you a headache for two days straight.

And also death. What week wouldn’t be complete without the death of a beloved grandparent, and the accompanying funerary type ceremonies.

But yesterday was my birthday, and it was lovely, and I believe the heinousness has ended. At least I hope it has ended, because I can tolerate no more. Fortunately, I’ve had plenty of time for knitting. I’ve been working on a mitten, here’s a peek

And a blurry EZ February sweater lounging on the couch, accidentally sized for some very husky little girl

Knitting as therapy, right here chez moi. I expect to have an entire afghan completed by next weekend if this bad streak continues.

What’s Up With All The Baby Knitting?

2007-01-03T22:22:00.000-05:00

So there’s been quite a bit of baby knitting ‘round these parts, and some of you may be getting tired of it. Just bear with me – you’ll be able to see all these clothes modeled by a real person in about three and a half more months…

Yep, those little red things are my shoes, and they’re getting harder and harder to see. I’m due in late April and we already know it’s a boy. And he likes Chinese takeout.

Despite all the little half finished sweaters sitting in the knitting basket, I found some time to finish my Shedir and I looooove it.

Yarn: Lana Gatto Prestige 100% Cashmere, 1.5 balls
Needles: Size 3 dpns
Pattern: Shedir by Jenna Wilson for the 2004 Knitty special issue, modified for only three pattern repeats rather than five.

Darling, Where Do the Mets Play?

2006-12-28T13:09:00.000-05:00

Yet another unpronounceable knit. I started Shedir with two balls of cashmere I won in the Yarn Harlot’s MSF thank you gift drawing, and I have no idea how to say the name of this hat. To avoid another Clapotis incident (wherein I go around mispronouncing the name of my garment for a year or so) – does anyone have a suggestion about the pronunciation of Shedir? I’m thinking it’s pronounced the same way you’d answer the question in the title of this post.

It's In The Bag, Baby

2006-12-21T09:03:00.000-05:00

My knitting looks pretty much the same, just a little bit longer. But those very same projects pictured in my last post are so much happier now, so much more cooperative on the needles, so much more fun to knit. Why? They’re now traveling in style…

This great box bag made by misocrafty and gifted to me by Carrie in our Spiders gift exchange. Ever since my pinsripe jaywalker (suffering from serious SSS) started traveling in the pouch rather than a ratty old Ziploc bag, I’ve made inches of progress. Thanks Carrie!

Open Issues List

2006-12-11T09:24:00.000-05:00

Back when I was a lawyer I used to have to make “open issues” lists – multipage documents listing and classifying every contentious issue that had to be settled before a transaction could close. The parties would then argue about whether certain issues should or shouldn’t be included on the list, thereby adding even more open issues and prolonging the agony. I love thinking back to those great lawyer projects, just remembering that drudgery motivates me when I’m feeling a little too tired to work the night shift at the restaurant.

Here’s a little list of the open knitting issues in my life right now.

Looks like it’s time for a new pair of felted clogs…

The fair isle sleeve of the yolk pullover is going well so far…

What’s this?

Part of a super secret surprise in progress to be revealed soon – so cute you may need to wear sunglasses when viewing the FO.

You’ll notice that none of these projects look like holiday presents. That’s because it’s only December 11th. Plenty of time, right?

Riotous Vacation Day

2006-11-28T20:31:00.000-05:00

Today was the first day of my three day weekend. When you work in a restaurant, holidays mean tourists and long hours, not time off, so I’m enjoying my Thanksgiving vacation a little late this year.

How did I celebrate?

Smiley’s Yarn RRRRRiot!!!

Here's some riotously colorful cheap yarn

And some of the other rioters

The line stretched around the store; the crowds were dense and moving fast. Most of the yarn was flammable. I’ll confess here and now that I cracked under the pressure and, after a brief scan of the pickings, fled to Philly Slims for a therapeutic cheesesteak. Maybe next year.

You may notice that I also did a little redecorating around here using a new template, hope it's an improvement!

A Handknit Holiday Season

2006-11-20T10:15:00.000-05:00

There has been knitting of sleeves in the wrong places (oh, hello new parent, does your child have an arm extending from the center of his or her back? If so, I have the perfect sweater.) and soon there will be frogging of baby sweaters. I have not started the fair isle sleeve. I unfortunately went out and bought 18 tons of baby yarn in an overly ambitious project to knit sweaters for all of the babies due to arrive in the next six months (six, at last count). I am now sick of baby sweaters and want to knit something for my selfish self. Just in time for the holidays.

Last year I had a “No Knitted Gifts” policy. I didn’t want to make my hobby feel like a job. Last year I was a lawyer and I could afford to spend more than $36 total on holiday presents. This year I am a cook and my annual salary puts me well below the poverty line. I made so little that I don’t think I’ll owe any income tax. Lavish gifts are not an option. Family and friends – I bet your hands feel chilly, don’t they? I bet you wish you had some nice warm mittens. Don’t run out to the store just yet – Santa may have something special for you!

Flashes of Brilliance

2006-11-13T10:36:00.000-05:00

Thank you all so much for the advice on the fair isle colors! I apologize for not responding to your comments, I had some email inbox craziness going on, so consider this a great big THANK YOU!

Those of you who suggested swatching are totally smart and right (although it does sorta eliminate the possibility of reusing the yarn). The truth is that I am a terrible swatcher, and I’ll hide the sweater under the bed rather than doing a fair isle swatch. Instead, I think I found a great solution. Here’s the sweater…

I’ll just start with the sleeve! That’ll be a nice test run for the fair isle, and not too painful to rip if it ends up being uuuugly. This solution was painfully obvious and staring me right in the face, but it took forever and a day for me to figure it out.

I’m also working on another EZ baby sweater for a friend whose baby is coming very very soon! As usual, I made it a little big. I just cant bear the thought of it being worn for only a month or so!

Advice Needed

2006-11-08T11:35:00.000-05:00

I’m still knitting away on the bottom of the yolk sweater and am very close to starting the fair isle portion. I went down to Purl the other day and picked out some yarn, but now I’m having second thoughts.

Are these colors too bland for a brown fair isle sweater. Will the blues and grays just blend together into one cool color mess? I love the icy hues but I’m afraid they just wont show up. Do I need to exchange these for some peppy reds and oranges? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

NaNoWhat??

2006-11-02T11:25:00.000-05:00

November is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). Participants attempt to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November, with a focus on quantity rather than quality. For those of us that just aren’t ready to commit to a whole novel, November is also NaNoBloPoMo . One blog post a day for the whole month.

Fortunately I learned of these two events today, November 2, blissfully too late to sign up for either. If I had learned yesterday, I may have done something rash while in a caffeine induced frenzy. For those of you participating – good luck! I’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines, and perhaps trying to post a bit more myself now that my schedule has calmed down a bit.

I continue to knit around and around on the Brown Tube, but it is not at all photoworthy, so instead I will share with you a knitting confession.

I do not save these little yarn repair cards that come with sweaters.

I am a knitter. I have a box in a drawer where I store these, perhaps by fiber or sweater type, so that I can reach in and grab the appropriate yarn in the event that I need to do some mending.

The thing is, I am not a mender. I do not mend. I will just wear a sweater with holes, the same way I will wear a shirt with wrinkles, because I don’t iron. I don’t even own an iron. I sold it at a yard sale in 1999 and haven’t looked back since.

Lots of Knitting, Not Much Swatching

2006-10-25T11:37:00.000-04:00

Why am I knitting hats for bears? This hat is swell, from the summer Knitty. I was knitting it as a gift for an adult size recipient, but things didn’t quite work out as planned. You know how it’s really trick to judge size on circular needles, and things always come out a lot bigger than you think they will? Almost always.

Despite the size issues this was a delightful and easy pattern, perfect for my first fair isle project. As soon as the sting wears off I’ll be knitting it again in a much larger size.

A Little Sweater

2006-10-13T09:05:00.000-04:00

It's finished (almost)! If you look carefully you'll see that the sleeve seams aren't sewn yet, but otherwise here's the final baby sweater.

The color problem ended up being far more significant than I originally anticipated, so I'm just embracing the two totally different oranges as a design element rather than pretending they may actually be supposed to match. Although the colors are gender neutral, I think the lace makes this sweater to girly for a boy baby, or am I just being silly? I don't know the gender of any of the babies I'm knitting for right now, but statistically one of them is bound to be a girl, right? As usual, I'm sure I wont get around to sewing on the buttons until the intended recipient is in his or her crib.

It's going to be a rough 10 days of work and travel around here. Hopefully I'll have plenty of time for knitting, but I'm not sure I'll be doing much blogging.

I Clearly Started Without A Plan

2006-10-02T11:38:00.000-04:00

I wanted to knit the baby sweater in the Knitter’s Almanac without a major yarn investment, so I tried to use up some Zara I had hanging around from prior projects. Unfortunately, I ran out of orange…

I bought another ball but the difference was too noticeable, so I switched back to maroon, at least for a little Charlie Brown style stripe. Now I’m trying to decide whether to keep going in maroon or switch to the new ball of orange (and hope the difference wont be detected because of the distracting stripe) or switch to a third color (thus buying a second ball of yarn and thwarting the whole thriftiness aspect of the project). Ripping the entire sweater out and starting over is not an emotionally viable option at this point. Any suggestions?

Zimmermania - A False Start

2006-09-26T08:06:00.000-04:00

Alas, my first Zimmermania project isn’t going quite as well as planned. I started the baby sweater in the Knitter’s Almanac using Knitpicks Andean Silk and something is amiss. The yarn is just too big, too fluffy, not baby-ish enough. The lacy pattern isn’t showing up well and I think the sweater will end up being toddler size rather than baby-size. As if that weren’t enough, I only have two skeins and I’m pretty sure I’ll run out of yarn before the end. AND, I already messed up the garter stitch button band.

Don’t worry, I got right back on that horse. I already started the new and improved (now machine washable!) baby sweater in Zara (possibly my favorite yarn ever) on slightly smaller needles.

Knit Your Own Stately Pleasure Dome – Save $388

2006-09-21T11:14:00.000-04:00

In just a few hours on my day off, I managed to knit up my version of the Marc Jacobs Kubla Khan hat . Here’s his…

Here’s mine, gracefully modeled by Mr. Teapot…

And in the bathroom mirror…

I used Bear Creek Bulky (99% wool, 1% nylon), a bulky weight single ply that resembles roving more than yarn, and size 17 dpns.

I just sort of made it up as I went along. Here’s the pattern in case you’d like to make your own.

Gauge: Approx 2 sts per 1” but it doesn’t really matter, the hat is big and stretchy anyway. I didn’t even bother swatching.

Needles: Size 17 dpns (or two size 17 circulars, using two circs sock method)

CO 44 sts, join (don’t twist, although it wont show if you do, hooray!), knit around and around in 1 x 1 ribbing (k1 p1 ribbing) until the hat measures 8” (yes, this is very long, but you will fold it).

Knit 1 round as follows: *k2tog, k 9* rep 4 times. 40 sts remain.

Knit 4 rounds stockinette. (If you have a very small head, knit 2 or 3, a very enormously large head, 5 or 6. I have an average to biggish woman sized head, 4 worked for me.)

Decrease as follows:

*k2tog, k 6* rep 5 times.
*k2tog, k 5* rep 5 times.
*k2tog, k 4* rep 5 times.
*k2tog, k 3* rep 5 times.
*k2tog, k 2* rep 5 times.
*k2tog, k 1* rep 5 times.
*k2tog* rep 5 times. 5 sts remain.

Thread yarn through 5 remaining stitches and pull tight. Weave in ends. Roll ribbed portion of hat twice to get puffy brim. Don’t even bother blocking.

As you can see from the above photo, it’s sort of a goofy looking hat, but it is WARM, and it’s so fluffy that it doesn’t really mush down my hair (though in the winter I imagine it would pose a major static electricity risk).

Just Say No

2006-09-18T09:37:00.000-04:00

One hit isn’t going to hurt you. Just try it, you’ll like it. It’ll make you have a really good time. All the cool kids are doing it.

These rationalizations, we learned in Sixth Grade Health Class, would be used later in life by “drug pushers” to entice us into a life of addiction and misery. Just say no, we were taught, no matter what they say, no matter how fun it may appear. I never found this teaching philosophy to be very compelling, until now…

Some are just too addictive to sample. Thanks to a certain knitter's recent post, I took my first hit, and now I fear I’ll be going back for more.

Knitted dishcloths? Preposterous. (Actually, mine is a washcloth for my round pink face; I just couldn’t bring myself to put handknit to pot crud.) Still, I have plenty of washcloths. There’s just something about the excuse to use garish colors, something about the pattern too, I just don’t think I can stay away.

Magic Mushroom?

2006-09-12T10:15:00.000-04:00

The Yolk Sweater still looks like a brown circle, and continues to grow.

I am still knitting this damn brown alpaca round and round and round, with a keen sense of déjà vu because that is exactly what I did with the frogged Union Square Market sweater. It makes for fabulous late night knitting, when I get home from work and it’s 2am and I just need to wind down enough to realize that I’m really quite tired.

I was walking past Marc Jacobs on my way to work yesterday and I noticed something eye catching in the window…

The Kublakhan (mushroom?) hat. For a mere $400 this hat could be yours! I’m not even going to go into my little issues about spending $400 on a hat that does anything less than enable the wearer to fly and simultaneously turn handguns into prosciutto and cheese panini. Instead, I’ll just point out that this hat looks pretty simple to knit. I am tempted, but I worry that I'll look like a portobello.

Brown

2006-09-07T11:04:00.000-04:00

So far the Equinox Yoke Pullover (I keep wanting to write Yolk Pullover) is trucking along nicely, but isn’t exactly prime blogging material. Just picture a big (hopefully not too big) brown 2” circle. Woo hoo!

It’s a lot of stockinette. I find myself really looking forward to every 10th row, when I get to make four increases. I keep telling myself that this does not make me lame, it is all part of the meditative zenniness that is knitting.

You may have noticed that I’m knitting this one in the round. The pattern instructs you to knit it flat, but I just couldn’t imagine doing a front then starting all over again with a big backful of stockinette. Hopefully this won’t cause some great disaster that I was unable to forsee when I started. I know I’ll have to separate it into two pieces later, but that shouldn’t be too much of a big deal. Now I have cursed myself forever.

Because I know myself and my fickle ways, I am not planning to purchase the fun multicolored yarns for the fair isle portion (Nay, I am not even planning to set foot across the threshold of the den of temptation that is Purl!) until I have finished the stockinette portion of the body. Hence I will have a little reward for my success. Hence, again, I will not be going to Purl for about 4 months. Fortunately there are plenty of other yarn stores in this city!

Ready for Fair Isle

2006-09-01T13:10:00.000-04:00

The camo socks are finished, and are now a far more flattering knee length.

They really are even, I don’t know why one looks shorter than the other. Also, my knees really are that knobby. They’ve never been my finest feature.

I also made a practice fair isle swatch.

Actually, this is the start of manresa, which I promptly ripped out after taking this picture. I realized that the likelihood of me wearing green fair isle legwarmers is just about nil, despite my desire to wear flip flops year round.

With the #3 circulars freed up from sock knitting, and the assurance from my swatch that I can make a fair isle garment that will at least hold together and not crumble on the needles, I’m ready to start the Equinox Yoke Pullover (again). This time in a slightly smaller size.

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

2006-08-29T13:12:00.000-04:00

The first FO I mentioned in my prior message, the camo colored socks, are not quite as F of an O as I thought. I was about to bind off and tried one on, only to find that it hit my calf at a spot where it a.) made my normally scrawny lower leg look hefty and b.) was destined to fall down every 37 seconds.

I ripped out the ribbing and I’m knitting up as a proper knee sock now.

I started the Equinox Yoke Pullover, but that had to be ripped as well. I like a roomy sweater, but it was ridiculous.

I’m going to restart it in a smaller size just as soon as I get those size 3 needles out of the camo socks. I was a little worried about the fair isle until I realized I have 87 yards of stockinette to get through, so there’s clearly plenty of time for a little fair isle practice on the side (Norwegian stockings, perhaps?). Anyone know a yarn store in NY that sells Dale yarns?

In other news, guess what I did last night…

The crowd was solidly behind Agassi, including one particularly verbal fan next to us in the nosebleed seats. Definitely the best $18 I’ve ever spent on a ticket to a sporting event.

Back to the Blog

2006-08-24T13:10:00.000-04:00

It’s not easy to come back after being away for so long. I haven’t been blogging, I haven’t been reading blogs, and I haven’t really even been knitting. Work and school and so on and so forth, but I’m back now. Blogless summer vacation is over. This morning I cleaned out my under-bed knitting storage boxes. I frogged a lone wristwarmer and, more painfully, nearly a full Union Square Market sweater.

It hurt. Hours of knitting down the drain, but it just wasn’t working for me. The silhouette was too clingy for alpaca, which makes me itch. The sleeves were too snug, and had to be redone anyway. The back had a weird poochy part that would have been useful in the abdominal region after a large meal, but did me no good right above the backside. Honestly, though, the motivating factor was the Equinox Yoke Pullover on the cover of the latest Interweave Knits. Perfect use for the Blue Sky Alpaca that was tied up in the USM pullover. Now I just have to head down to Purl and buy about 7 more balls in various colors!

I’m glad to be back in the blogosphere and I look forward to getting back to reading everyone else’s blogs and finding out what I’ve missed out there in the knitting world! I’ll leave you with a photo (see above) of what I anticipate will be my first FO since the hourglass sweater.

World Cup Knitting

2006-06-17T09:04:00.000-04:00

Here it is – the secret mystery World Cup knitting project!

Yep, it’s the start of an Argentina World Cup Soccer sock! I originally wanted to finish the pair before my husband left for Germany to watch some of the games. Unfortunately, he left yesterday, so it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. He’ll be gone for ten days, so hopefully I’ll have them finished by the time he gets back (and hopefully Argentina will still be in the running)!

A Finished Hourglass

2006-06-11T12:49:00.000-04:00

Thank you for all your kind words of suport during my knitless time! My hands are all better now (lots of baking, not too much cooking) and I’m back on the needles. I had a great time meeting up with the Spiders last night for a mini yarn crawl and some knitting at the Point!

The big knitting news around here is that I finally finished my hourglass sweater! Check it out…

And a closeup of the sleeve…

I used some very slubby mystery cotton purchased during my yarn binge in Argentina. My gauge was totally off and, instead of doing lots of nasty math, I just knitted the XS size (I’m normally a M) and hoped for the best. Amazingly, this resulted in a nearly perfect fit. I lengthened the sleeves to fit my monkey arms and added a few extra decrease rows to prevent the “Flashdance-shoulder” commonly experienced with this pattern. I’m already plotting my next hourglass, but not before I finish my secret mystery super-urgent World Cup knitting project, to be revealed shortly.

Oh, do I have a knitting blog?

2006-05-30T20:08:00.000-04:00

I started knitting because I enjoy creating things; I love the feeling of turning raw materials into a very different looking finished product with just my hands and minimal tools.

Since I started culinary school, that need has been pretty well fulfilled. I spend hours chopping and sautéing and plating food. When I get home from school I often have just enough time to shower and grab a snack before heading off to trail at a restaurant for eight hours. After twelve hours of chopping and cooking, my hands are puffed like oven mitts and have all the dexterity of lobster claws. Knitting is not an option. I miss it – I miss the fine yarn running quickly over my fingers, the meditative row after row coming together to make something potentially wearable.

I hope I’ll be back soon. I’ve considered knitting with gloves on, so the yarn doesn’t snag on my roughened skin, but my knuckles cry out when I pick up the needles. I’ve resorted to petting my yarn and rearranging my knitting basket instead. I thought the holiday weekend would provide relief, but I took a sailing class – two full days of pulling ropes and trimming sails. At least the instructor was amazed by my aptitude for tying knots!

The Seven Sevens of MeBeth

2006-04-27T17:21:00.000-04:00

Many moons ago, Amandamonkey tagged me for a meme. It took me much longer to complete than I initially anticipated, mostly because I got all excited about my favorite books and movies, and had to go reread/review all of them, and so I got a little distracted. But here it is…

Seven things to do before I die:

(I had a list of these things somewhere, but I think I lost it. Perhaps #1 should be to get organized, eh? I don’t like the whole “before I die” thing, so these are some things I’d like to do before the year 2006 dies.)

1.) Eat at Per Se.
2.) Do wheel pose (see below).
3.) Get paid to create food for other people.
4.) Write more funny stuff. Lots more.
5.) Have one of those dinner parties where everything seems effortless and I don’t end up getting red-faced, sweaty and flustered.
6.) Run another marathon. (Please read as if I put little finger-quote things around “run” -- I’m not afraid to stop and smell the Gatorade.)
7.) Learn to tourne vegetables really well. (A tourne is a bizarre football or barrel shaped seven-sided thumb-sized cut. It is really hard.)

Seven things I cannot do:

1.) Do a multi-day rock climb and sleep in one of those hammock things 800 feet above ground.
2.) Tree pose at yoga. I suck at tree pose.
3.) Also wheel. Why is everyone else at yoga class popping up into wheel while I’m stuck doing bridge pose with the 80 year old ladies and the really fat man in sweatpants?
4.) Be a foot model.
5.) Be an opera singer .
6.) Figure out how to make the stupid banner on my blog look somewhat more interesting. (I even checked out helpful books from the library!)
7.) Walk on any kind of tightrope, even if it’s six inches off the ground.

Seven things I say:

1.) Hot Behind!
2.) Carrots, hold still. This won’t hurt a bit.
3.) Just one more mile.
4.) Just one more bite/row/glass of wine/snooze.
5.) Oops, sorry, did I spill that on you?
6.) Can I have just a little nibble of that?
7.) I’m just going to read one more chaptzzzzzzzzz.

Seven things that attract me to my mate:

1.) He smells like dryer lint. In a good way.
2.) We have the same size feet.
3.) He can’t order food without asking the server eight million questions. Annoying, but endearing.
4.) After one drink he forgets that he can’t sing.
5.) Until he met me he didn’t know that pickles came from cucumbers. He didn’t believe me about this for a very long time, like, two years.
6.) He has great intentions to do work on weekends and exercise regularly, but he can be led astray with the slightest hint of cheeseburgers and the promise of a movie.
7.) He’s smarter than me, but thinks I’m smarter than him.

Seven books I love:

1.) James and the Giant Peach
2.) Anna Karenina
3.) The entire Susan Cooper Dark is Rising series. (As a matter of fact, excuse me while I go reread it all right now.)
4.) The Moviegoer
5.) Atlas Shrugged
6.) Franny and Zooey
7.) Frost on my Moustache

Seven movies I’ve loved:

1.) The Royal Tenenbaums
2.) The Usual Suspects
3.) The Holy Grail
4.) Pride and Prejudice (BBC – mmm, I love that proud Mr. Darcy)
5.) Shaun of the Dead
6.) The Princess Bride
7.) Spellbound

Seven people to tag:

Oh crap, everyone’s done this already. Have you not done this? Leave a comment and you are hereby be-tagged.

Does Raglan Really Work?

2006-04-13T15:40:00.000-04:00

The Hourglass is my first raglan sweater. I just joined the arms to the body, attaching two sleeves to the tube top part.

Set in sleeves make sense to me. You make a vest, you make some sleeves with round shoulder tops, and you sew them in. The finishing is annoying, but I understand how it all comes together.

The raglan thing – I just don’t get it. It looks like I’ll be making a sort of triangle up from the tube top/sleeve and ending in the neckline, but I don’t think I’m shaped that way. My shoulders are boxy; they don’t slope, they just sort of jut out. I can’t envision how this sweater will fit without having big poochy parts – either on top of my shoulders or in the front of the neckline or some other unfortunate and unflattering place.

Right now I’m just following the pattern with my fingers crossed. Please – if you’re a boxy shouldered reader out there who has knitted an hourglass that has resulted in unsightly poochy parts – let me know now so that I can resort to plan B. (Also, if you have a plan B, please let me know that too!)

Peep Research

2006-04-11T22:10:00.000-04:00

If you’ve got even the littlest bit of either nerd or Peep lover in you, head right on over to peepresearch.org – HILARIOUS!

This weekend was Spiderrrific, with a party on Friday and Kaitlyn’s baby shower on Saturday morning. I didn’t get any decent photos, but plenty of the others have great pics on their blogs.

I’m not so coordinated when it comes to knitting and socializing, so I chugged away on my all-stockinette sock while snacking and drinking wine.

I See London, I See France

2006-04-01T11:12:00.000-05:00

I see MeBeth’s…STASH!

Yep, today is Flash Your Stash day in the Knitblog world. Here’s a look at mine.

The basket of yarn booty from Argentina.

The messy knitting corner.

Sock yarns, a giant cone of cashmere, and some other assorted stuff.

From the underbed storage boxes, we have my spinning fiber and, you guessed it, more yarn.

Not exactly a beautiful yarn containment system (YCS) but it works in my little apartment. Hope everyone has an inspiring day revisiting some old forgotten treasures hiding in the depths of their stashes!

Totally '80s

2006-03-27T07:14:00.000-05:00

Finally, I knitted. I made it to Spiders on Friday and finished up one Hourglass sleeve. Check it out…

I started number two yesterday and realized if I stopped right now I’d have a one armed sweater and a matching wrist cuff. Rock on!

Fortunately, I have a special new motivation to complete this sweater in a hurry. I was too cheap to buy Last Minute Knitted Gifts, so I checked it out of the library about a week ago (before that, I was just sort of winging it). It’s due back on April 4, and can’t be renewed because someone else is waiting for it. I can’t possibly keep it past the due date – that would likely do irreparable harm to my knitting karma. Soooo, I’m using the due date as a target date for completion of the sweater.

Without Knitting, I Am Perhaps A Little Evil

2006-03-19T10:20:00.000-05:00

I haven’t been knitting. Nope. Not one bit. Who, me? Knit? As this is a knitting blog, that leaves me with very little to talk about. So how ‘bout some other stuff.

Culinary school is great. Aside from a few louts that think they’re above doing the dishes (hey, why bother when those nice girls are going to do them for you) everyone in my class is delightful. Most of our cooking is done in teams and it’s fascinating to observe how others work in groups. Bossiness, micromanagement, laziness, passive aggressive peeler stealing – it all comes out when you team people up, give then an unreasonable deadline and a limited number of metal bowls in which to whisk their mayonnaise. I tend toward a strange combination of bossy and overly solicitous – delightful!

I’m actually a bit weddinged-out this morning after a weekend of nuptial revelry. For the past two days I’ve felt less than sparkly upon lifting my head from the pillow, and the day has been an exercise in recovery. Maybe Gatorade? A little caffeine? Oops, now I’m dehydrated again, time for 97 gallons of water. How about a nap? When you’re tending to these most basic needs it’s hard to find the time or mental capacity for any higher level activities like reading the newspaper or, god forbid, trying to do the NYT crossword puzzle. I think I got two words in there, and I’m pretty sure they’re wrong.

I did learn one thing about weddings though – once you have one, it is nearly impossible to resist comparing every wedding you attend to your own. In this case, the comparison wasn’t easy, as the wedding in question was a glamorous sit-down dinner with a big band and a cake. But we managed. I was really impressed with my husband’s eye for detail, he picked up on a few scandals-in-progress that I would have totally overlooked. Yes, we’re bad evil coal-hearted monsters, but we’re fun to sit with.

Hopefully once I medicate myself with sufficient Gatorade, coffee, water and naps I’ll be able to function well enough to have a little knitting to talk about, but I wouldn’t count on it.

Felting, Not So Magic Anymore

2006-03-14T07:08:00.000-05:00

Much like my last post, there's little knitting going on around here. But felting, oh there's plenty of felting! Here's what happens when your ungrateful husband puts his hand knitted anklets in the washer and dryer...

(Those are my feet, not his.)

Some of you out there may be wondering why I knitted my husband such garish anklets in the first place - this is a valid question. I was knitting toe up socks for myself and he specifically requested them, that very color, but in an anklet version. True, he does not wear them outside the confines of the apartment, and they serve more of a slipper role than anything else, but he did ask for them. These are the only knitted item he has ever requested or shown any interest in. And he felted them. Guess who wont be getting any more knitted socks ever again for forever and ever.

Anyone have a 6 year old that needs some felted slipper socks?

No Knitting Here

2006-03-08T14:11:00.000-05:00

Does this even qualify as a knitting blog anymore? I haven't knit a thing in a week, I haven't been able to read knitting blogs, I missed Spiders last Friday and will be missing it again this week for a business trip. (At least perhaps I'll get in some knitting time so that I have somthing to post on this here blog.) We've been cooking lamb in culinary school - that's pretty much as anti-knit as one can get. I'll be back soon.

In the meantime, here's a picture of the largest ball of twine. Just imagine if it were wool...

Handknit Envy

2006-03-05T10:13:00.000-05:00

The other day I was walking down the subway platform and I noticed this guy, probably around my age, wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase, staring at me in the most peculiar way. My first thought – “Oh, he must be jealous of my hand knit Rogue sweater.”

Right. I am sure that is exactly what he was thinking. I think I need to spend a little more time with the non-knitting population; I am losing my grip.

I didn’t get to knit with the Spiders this Friday – I’m so sorry I missed the festivities! JF and I had a dinner that was not to be missed, and could not be rescheduled. I hope everyone had a great time.

Ouch and Damn.

2006-03-01T16:29:00.000-05:00

I thought I was soooo clever – I bought myself a 12” circular figuring it would be perfect for the sleeves of my hourglass sweater. (Note – I bought this at School Products and managed to leave the store with NO OTHER ITEMS – I consider this a personal triumph.)

Anyway, I got my little circular needle home and tried to cast on for the sleeve. No chance. The needle and yarn kept flying out of my hand, loops popped off the needles, it was disastrous. I cast on using regular needles and then tried to knit a few rounds with the little circular, but similar problems ensued. After about three rounds my hand muscles seized up and refused to go any further.

Do I just have monstrous bear paws, or is it really that difficult to knit a sleeve on a 12” circular needle? Has anyone out there done this successfully? Any tips? If not, I’m headed out tomorrow to buy some size 6 dpns.

Donkey?!

2006-02-23T15:04:00.000-05:00

Sorry I disappeared there for a bit – big life changes are in the works. I just started culinary school! I have to wear a really unflattering uniform from head to toe, with black nurse shoes, checkerboard pants, a white chef coat, and a silly little hat. The one internet-friendly part of our outfit that isn’t strictly regulated is our socks…

(Ribbed socks from kool-aid dyed knitpicks.)

In other news, we got the best wedding present ever. We’re going to call him Ferdinand Donkey M(last name deleted to protect donkey anonymity).

Fortunately Ferdinand didn’t arrive on our doorstep. Instead, he was delivered to a family with greater donkey needs and a bit more space for him to roam. According to his bio, he enjoys plowing, helping with irrigation and carrying supplies to the marketplace. If you’re shopping for gifts, check out Oxfam. Who wouldn’t want a donkey?

New Projects on the Needles

2006-02-21T17:50:00.000-05:00

I’ve put a little time into some of the old projects, but, as usual, I couldn’t resist starting a new project (or two). I’m working on an hourglass-ish sweater, but I’m at the point where I really need to go out and buy the pattern rather than winging it. I have no problem knitting a big tube with a little waist shaping, but I’d much rather stick to the pattern when it comes to the neckline and sleeves of this one. I’m using one of my Argentina yarns – a slubby cotton that is ultra soft – sort of like Manos stria but with the thickness variations of regular Manos. I wasn’t sure it would work for the hourglass, but so far I’m really liking the texture…

It is MUCH more blue in real life.

I’m also working on a pair of camouflage socks using the squeakiest sock yarn on earth – there are no natural fibers in this one, but I couldn’t resist the colorway. So far it’s pooling a bit more than I had hoped, but is perfect mindless knitting during all of the Olympics I’ve been watching.

I’m not involved in the knitting Olympics, but HOORAH! for all of you Olympic knitters – I hope your projects are going well!

Rogue and Socks

2006-02-16T11:32:00.000-05:00

(Post edited to fix typos in sock pattern!)

Thank you all for our excellent sink advice. I think the neighbors must be a little overenthusiastic with their dishwasher soap. The problem seems to have abated in the past few days, so perhaps they were just using the snowy blizzard weather to catch up on their dishwashing.

Today, I have photos of two FOs. First, here’s Rogue…

I used size 7 needles and Cascade 220 yarn to knit the medium size – I’m pleased with the baggy sweatshirty look. I want Rogue to be the sweater I put on after work on winter evenings. The biggest pattern modification I made was to add the red racing stripes up the sides by knitting the cable charts in red. This entailed knitting the body flat and then seaming up the side, but was otherwise pretty simple. I’ve worn Rogue for at least a few hours pretty much every day since I finished it (last Friday) and I can tell I’m going to need another. Fortunately, Rogue was such a well written pattern and fun knit that I cant wait to make it again.

My other FO is a pair of Cascade Fixation socks. These are quite similar to the socks I made for my sockapal2za sockpal Ashley, but I used a new lace pattern of (sort of) my own invention. The pattern was so simple I don’t really feel like I can claim that I made it up – it’s sort of like trying to take credit for a long garter stitch scarf. Its easy and fun though, and Fixation (or the elann.com equivalent) is the perfect sock yarn.

I use elann.com’s basic toe up sock pattern, which you can find and copy for free right here, with the following modifications:

Stop after row 10, when you have 48 stitches on the needles, 24 for the top and 24 for the bottom of the sock. Work two rows in stockinette, stopping after the bottom 24 stitches, so you are about to work across the top of the foot.

Row 11: (top of foot)) k2, ssk, k2tog, k4, ssk, k2tog, k4, ssk, k2tog, k2, (bottom of foot) k24.
Row 12: k one round (48 stitches).
Row 13: (top of foot) k2, yo, k2, yo, k4, yo, k2, yo, k4, yo, k2, yo, k2, (bottom of foot) k24.
Row 14: k one round (48 stitches).

Repeat rows 11 – 14 as many times as needed to reach point where you want to start heel. Remember that Fixation is stretchy yarn, so you may want to make the foot a little shorter than you normally would.

Do your favorite short row heel. I like the one in the elann pattern, but I typically pick up a stitch or two (and k2tog them later) to account for gaps where the heel meets the top of foot stitches.

After the heel, resume lace pattern as follows:

Row 1: (top of foot)) k2, ssk, k2tog, k4, ssk, k2tog, k4, ssk, k2tog, k2, (bottom of foot) k2, ssk, k2tog, k4, ssk, k2tog, k4, ssk, k2tog, k2.
Row 2: k one round (48 stitches)
Row 3: (top of foot) k2, yo, k2, yo, k4, yo, k2, yo, k4, yo, k2, yo, k2, (bottom of foot) k2, yo, k2, yo, k4, yo, k2, yo, k4, yo, k2, yo, k2.
Row 4: k one round (48 stitches).

Continue until you are an inch or two from ideal length, switch to k2, p2 ribbing and continue until desired length is reached. Bind off in k2, p2 rib.

2006-02-14T10:54:00.000-05:00

Everything is a bit haywire around here – it turns out that when I’m left without any structure (i.e. work) in my life, nothing gets done and I don’t leave the house. I forced myself out today and I’m sitting in a tea shop blogging on their wi-fi. Today’s blog entry is disjointed and awkwardly transition-less.

ROGUE

Rogue is finished, but I have no photos (despite the fact that I’ve been wearing it for three days straight). So COMFY! Also so full of mistakes. Rogue was my first adult sweater, my first cable project, my first work with lots of shaping and, as a result, looks more than a little bit homemade. I’m trying to love it in a Velveteen Rabbit kind of way rather than obsessing over all of the holes and weird bits. I’ll post a photo and pattern details as soon as I can get a decent action shot.

KNITTING OLYMPICS

Although I’m not officially participating in the Knitting Olympics, I’m trying to use the Olympic spirit to motivate me to finish up some of the projects lurking around in the knitting basket, like the USM pullover, my chunky manos sweater, and lots of odd socks. Unfortunately, my best intentions have been thwarted by the lure of the new yarn from Argentina, and I’m fooling around with some slubby blue cotton that may become an hourglass sweater. I crave endless stockinette rather than fiddly finishing, especially because I cant unglue my eyes from the TV for more than 45 seconds. Has anyone made an hourglass sweater out of cotton? Is that even possible?

CLUMSY (DRUNK?)

In other news, I fell and I’m wounded, but I think I’ll survive. The great blizzard of ’06 + pomegranate margaritas = me sliding down the steps at the Lexington/53rd Street subway station and landing on my left hip. I jumped right up and tried to pretend nothing happened, but by the time I got home I had a huge lump. I would take a photo and share the horror right here on the internet, but it would be nearly impossible to photograph my hip without also photographing other parts of me that I would prefer not to share with the internet at large. (Mom – did I just hear a sigh of relief?) So use your imagination -- It looks like I have a third butt cheek, a purple third butt cheek, growing from the side of my hip.

MY SINK

This is my sink…

But that is not my soap! Every morning a giant mass of bubbles comes wildly frothing out of my sink drain and fills up the entire sink, stopping juuuuust shy of overflowing all over the kitchen floor. Why is this? Fellow apartment dwellers – do you have this?

Buenos Aires

2006-02-10T08:24:00.000-05:00

Buenos Aires is beautiful, the sock had a delightful time enjoying the view from the balcony of our hotel.

We spent quite a bit of time visiting with JF’s friends and family and traipsing around the city. In exchange, JF agreed to accompany me to the yarn district and act as my translator. (This is particularly hilarious if you know JF!) JF’s knitting aunts had warned me that the yarn district was huge, and could be a bit overwhelming, but I had no idea what I was getting into.

I have never seen so much yarn in my life. Three blocks of yarn stores, one after another, lining both sides of the street.

I’d say about 50% specialized in machine knitting yarns, and of the remaining 50%, half of those were closer to the acrylic end of the spectrum, but the remaining 25% (must’ve been at least 10 stores) looked like this…

Most of the shop employees didn’t speak English, so JF gamely translated, “do you have wool, very thin wool?” “No, she wants the kind that is only wool, to make something for the neck, perhaps a cape? Made of lace?” “She likes the thick wool too.” “How many yarn, um, things are in a kilo?” “Do you have any more in the back?”

The phrase he used most often, “She’ll take one kilo.”

A Meme (More Argentina Soon)

2006-02-08T11:41:00.000-05:00

I’ve been tagged, and double tagged, so I’m going to do this meme even though it makes me feel kinda old.

Instructions: remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place, then add your blog to the bottom slot.

scissorina
gleek
sassy stitches
treschicveronique
craptina
mebeth rambles

I’m going to tag Stephanie, but it’s an optional tag – no obligation if you don’t want to meme! Anyone else – if you want to do this meme, I hereby tag you!

What were you doing 9 years ago?:

In February of ’97 I was a first year law student at a small law school in the mountains of Virginia. I had left first semester nerdiness behind me, quit my job as a waitress (my favorite job of all time), was enjoying Feb Club (a party nearly every night at someone’s house) and the boot camp camaraderie of law school. I was dating a med student and I thought we would get married eventually. I was going to be a death penalty lawyer or a professor.

What were you doing 6 years ago?:

In February of 2000 I was living in Richmond, Virginia, clerking for a judge, preparing for my impending move to New York and my job in a big law firm as a tax associate. I was finishing up my stash of cigarettes and wine that I'd stockpiled in preparation for Y2K. I had recently broken up with a guy with a big TV and a small vocabulary. I got over him the following weekend by having an anti-Valentine wine and pizza fest with my young surfer neighbors.

What were you doing one hour ago?

Trying to do the stupid Wednesday crossword puzzle in the New York Times. Honestly, I don’t know why I do these puzzles – they’re a constant source of frustration and they make me feel like an idiot.

Name 3 movies/tv shows you can’t turn off if you stumble across them on television:

Alton Brown’s Good Eats
The Witches of Eastwick
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Name 3 things you want to improve upon this year:

Run the NYC marathon in less than 87 hours (maybe)
Decide what I want to be when I grow up
Seam my knitted sweaters rather than just leaving them, sleeveless, laying around the apartment

Name 3 things you can’t live without (aside from knitting):

Bacon
Many small notebooks scattered all over the apartment
The “guide” function on the remote control, so I don’t have to scroll through all the channels to find out what’s on

Name 3 things you could…

People who don’t have their money ready when they get to the register - you buy that same bagel every day, you should know how much it costs by now!
The fact that my local wine store is closed on Sundays (and the fact that I can never seem to remember this fact)
Ice cold drips of dirty water onto my head from the scaffolding on my building

Name 3 things you really like about yourself:

My ability to guess the time of day within a few minutes
My ability to fix broken toilets (thanks Dad!) and…
I secretly like my big ugly feet (thanks again, Dad)

Argentina - Part 2

2006-02-06T11:44:00.000-05:00

From El Calafate, JF and I drove about six hours to Torres del Paine national park in Chile. The trip would’ve been great knitting time if I hadn’t constantly been looking out the window at the amazing scenery.

Torres del Paine was amazing. We climbed a little mountain, here’s the view from the top…

The lakes are such a bright vibrant color because they are fed from glacier meltwater, which contains certain particles of sediment that create the “glacier blue” color. It’s quite deceptive, the water looks like it’s about 80 degrees, but really it’s closer to 40.

We drove from Chile back to Argentina to stay at our hotel overlooking the Perito Moreno glacier. While we went glacier trekking…

the socks enjoyed the view of the glacier from the hotel.

The next day, one of the socks felt adventurous, and joined us on a boat to explore the Upsala glacier.

We had a hard time saying goodbye to the Patagonia.

Argentina - Part 1

2006-02-02T11:31:00.000-05:00

It’s not easy to get back into this blogging thing after a two week absence, I feel like I need to do a little recap over the next few days. I apologize for the photo heavy post.

First, we got married. For photos and a story, check out this link

The wedding was fabulous. I never expected it to be so much fun. After all the planning and chaos I was just hoping for no catastrophes, but I wasn’t anticipating that it would end up being a terrific party. The only thing I’d change is that I would’ve cloned myself about 8 times, so that I could have more time to spend with each guest.

We left the next day for Argentina; we flew to Buenos Aires and then directly down to Ushuaia. The sock was a little tired after 24 hours of travel, so it spent the first day of the honeymoon resting in the hotel while JF and I went on an excursion in 4 x 4s.

It was still pretty sleepy on the second day, so we let it rest while we went kayaking to the island of penguins.

It barely had the strength to peek out the window on the flight from Ushuaia to El Calafate.

It recovered a bit once we landed, bolstered by the knowledge that El Calafate is an important hub for wool traveling from the Patagonian estancias for export. See all the sheep…

There may have been a little wool shopping.

I bought four fluffy skeins of sheep-colored handspun.

This yarn is RUSTIC, it smells wooly, feels a little oily, and has little flecks of barn stuff throughout. It reminds me of an Irish fisherman’s sweater, but I’m not sure if I have enough for an adult size.

I also bought three skeins of super soft brown merino (150 grams per skein) for another undetermined project.

Total expenditure – approximately $15. Yep, $15.

There’s so much more to tell – I’ll post again tomorrow with more photos and yarns!

Back From Argentina!

2006-02-01T20:03:00.000-05:00

We flew back from Buenos Aires last night, and landed this morning – the honeymoon was fantastic. No opportunities for blogging, and not too many for knitting, but we enjoyed plenty of hiking and feasting on meats and empanadas.

I did find a little time for shopping. In fact, I bought a new duffel bag.

Here's why…

Argentina is the world’s largest wool exporter. The entire Patagonia is full of sheep. We drove for six hours - much of the time there were sheep grazing as far as we could see.

The wool was amazing - beautiful, soft, and 1/4 the price. I promise I'll provide a better update tomorrow, after a little sleep and a lot of unpacking.

In the meantime, here's a photo of my sock in progress enjoying the shady and beautiful Plaza San Martin in the middle of Buenos Aires.

Knitting at the End of the Earth

2006-01-18T17:52:00.000-05:00

I’ve been a pretty dreadful knit blogger lately, but I have a great excuse – I got married on Sunday and am now in Argentina on my honeymoon for two weeks! (Yes, blogging on the honeymoon. So romantic.)

Right now I’m in Ushuaia, the southernmost city in the world. Picture South America – Ushuaia is a city located at the very bottom pointy part, near Antarctica.

Here’s my latest sock in progress enjoying the view…

Note that the mountains in the distance are snow capped, even though it’s the middle of the summer down here.

Here’s the sock enjoying the view in the other direction, down the Beagle Channel…

Argentina is famous for its beef, but down in Patagonia and Tierra del Fuego the real specialty is the lamb.

Yes, lamb. As you read that, all you knitters out there thought the same thing as I did. Lamb = wool = yarn stores.

I will make it my mission to seek out Patagonian yarns and report back to you on my findings, however posting may be spotty for the next 10 days or so.

A Present for Me!

2006-01-09T16:37:00.000-05:00

Today's mail contained a special present for me for being the first to finish my Tannenbam. Deb sent over two skeins of Reynolds Odyssey in the most beautiful colorway, full of browns and greens and golds. I tried to capture it on film - not great, but this was the best I could do.

Thanks again Deb - I love my Tannenbaum and I really enjoyed knitting it!

Breaking the Rules

2006-01-07T16:29:00.000-05:00

Jaywalking is all about breaking the rules, defying the Man and, in my case, not following the pattern.

A proper Jaywalker should look like this (scroll down for the closeup, and admire the adorable baby gear while you're there).

The raised stitches on my jaywalker sock look more like this...

Turns out that when you're making the bumpy parts, you're supposed to slip two stitches TOGETHER, not one after another. I'm just going to think of these socks as being knitted in the true jaywalker scofflaw (or scoffpattern) spirit.

One Guess...

2006-01-04T20:33:00.000-05:00

That’s right – they’re Jaywalkers.

I couldn’t resist any longer. I have three armless sweaters hanging around here waiting to be finished, but for some reason I just don’t feel good unless I’m working on pair of socks. I'm using Lorna's Laces in "Somerset" - sort of a Lily Pulitzer colorway.

The jaywalker pattern is written for a cuff-down, heel flap type sock but, as usual, I have to do it toe up. Also, I’m doing it on 68 stitches rather than 76, even though I have fairly large feet (9!), because 76 just seemed too big – I like my socks to be pretty snug. I can always increase a bit when I get to the ankle.

I’m knitting the zigzag pattern on both the top and bottom of the foot. This way, if there is some funky pooling, I can decide as I approach the heel area which side should be face up.

I did a little introspection this morning and I decided that my need to knit all socks toe up is rooted in my tendancies toward thriftiness (some would go so far as to say cheapness). I can't bear to have little balls of excess sock yarn hanging around the knitting basket, never to be used up.

So far, this Jaywalker pattern is just as addictive as promised. It's just complex enough to stay interesting, but easy enough to memorize right away. Just give in, you know you want to make them!

Happy New Year

2006-01-02T10:12:00.000-05:00

Welcome back and Happy New Year! Sorry for that brief but necessary blog vacation. In knitting news, the mittens were a great success…

Hopefully they are keeping the recipient’s hands toasty warm as he snowboards in chilly New Hampshire. Only the coolest of cousins would love mittens so goofy. I had to crop his face because I am more like a protective old aunt than a cousin, but teenage girls – he’s quite a catch! (Gah – I hope none of his friends ever see this, how embarrassing to be pimped out by your old cousin!)

In other news, I left my job at the big law firm!

That was my rubber band ball (with staple remover shown for scale). In the beginning, it was springy and firm, but as those years (6!) of lawyering under the fluorescent lights for hours upon long hours trudged past, it became dry and desiccated and pathetic. Perhaps this was the natural deterioration of the rubber, but I wasn’t about to risk the same fate – I finally got the hell out of there. On my last day, I practically danced out the door, even though I was dragging my two 300 lb diplomas (now purely decorative, since I suspect I am through with the law for good).

I’ll be heading back to school in February to pursue a totally new career; something very different from the law. But for the next 7 weeks, I’m free to do whatever I want. Today, unfortunately, “whatever I want” means clean out my closets. Got to get rid of some of those lawyer suits to make room for my new wardrobe of jeans and very funny t-shirts.

I’m planning to donate the suits to Dress for Success – anyone have any experience with other charities in the NY area that might also be interested? The suits aren’t fantastic (basic Ann Taylor stuff) but definitely could be useful for someone in need.

Hope everyone is recovering from the hectic holiday season and enjoying a peaceful start to the new year.

Happy Holidays!

2005-12-23T17:46:00.000-05:00

I just knitted these goofy lobsterclaw-looking mittens for my cousin. Just what every teenager was hoping for this Christmas.

See you next week!

Kool Aid Socks

2005-12-21T14:12:00.000-05:00

Imagine that this one is bound off and partnered with another just like it!

These pink socks were knitted in k2p2 ribbing, toe up (short row heel) from knitpicks fingering weight color your own that I dyed using cherry and grape kool aid. I would've preferred slightly more vibrant colors – maybe next time.

Hopefully these will help keep my feet warm on the long cold trek to the office. And this means that I can FINALLY start a new pair of socks. I'm trying to resist, but I don't know how much longer I can fight off the jaywalker!

Tannenbaum!

2005-12-19T22:42:00.000-05:00

I finished my Tannenbaum! Check it out...

I decided to leave off the star and just knit to a point at the top. This was a quick and fun project and I completed it just in time. I'll try to post better photos tomorrow, I had to take these by myself.

A Shawl and a Promise

2005-12-16T14:15:00.000-05:00

Ayyyyy, the knitting in my life, it has been sparse and not at all photogenic. I completed another row of branches on my Tannenbaum. This would be a perfect subway knit except for the fact that I'm using little bells that jingle as I knit. Can you imagine how fast I would get my ass kicked if I sat on the subway making jingly noises the whole time?

And that old kool-aid dyed pink sock, I'm working on that too. Fortunately it’s the second of the pair, because I'm totally starting to hate it.

Remember way back there a few posts ago I was all bold with listing my projects and promising FOs and whatnot? What happened to that girl? I finished one neckwarmer and then nothing.

I have good excuses - life got totally crazy on me. I mean WAY more than the normal Christmas crazy. I had to buy a whole special notebook for all the to do lists! But still, it's pathetic that I haven't seamed up that Rogue, and there are two other sweaters out there just waiting for sleeves and necks. SO, I am promising, here on this blog, that I will have a special new finished object by Monday, and it wont be that lame pair of pink socks.

To distract us all in the meantime, here is a photo (oooh, naughty, taken in my office) of a Kimono Shawl in progress.

I'm using Jade Sapphire Cashmere Silk and although it is a pain in the ass to wind, and waaay expensive, it is the softest thing I've ever knit. By the way, Monday's FO will definitely NOT be this shawl.

I Wish I Could Knit It

2005-12-13T21:08:00.000-05:00

Thank you all for stopping by and leaving comments about Mt. Cashmere! I cant wait to get back to the knitting, and meet up with my new eight legged friends this Friday.

There hasn’t been much knitting going on over here, and I've been a terrible blogger, but I have three excuses. The first two are long and involved and relate to work and blah blah stressful boring. The third is funny - ha ha funny, not weird funny. If you knew me personally, it might make you laugh (it seems to have had that affect on all the real live people I’ve told so far).

Because I am a cheapskate and a dumbass, I am trying to make my own wedding veil.

Oh yes, nuptial plans are afoot (and have been for quite some time, I’m just a veilmaking slacker) and the deadline is SWIFTLY approaching. Like, we are now counting in days rather than months. 33. Days. Left.

Do you know how much a wedding veil costs? For a cheesy looking piece of tulle? Oooh, so much more than it should.

I took Home EC. And I can knit socks and lace. I can do this! (Right?)

I’ve got the tulle, I’ve got the sparkly headband, I’ve got the ribbon for the edges, and I’ve got the sparkly beads to glue on the ribbon. (The previous sentence now makes me wonder if I went overboard on the sparkle.)

Here it is so far...

The eagle eyed reader may notice that it is resting atop my still unfinished Rogue.

I’ve glued my fingers together 87 times already, and I am so sick of this project that I’m now thinking $5,000 is a reasonable price for a piece of tulle with beaded ribbon sewed to the edge. Hooray for the blessed union into which I am about to enter.

Bigger Than A Breadbox

2005-12-11T11:19:00.000-05:00

Friday night I met up with the Spiders for the first time – what fun! I got to check out some awesome handspun and learn how the rest of the world pronounces clapotis (um, not like clap – O – tis).

But those ladies are ENABLERS. There was much talk of yarn, of course, and yarn shops, including the fabled School Products.

By 11 am on Saturday morning I was on my way home with this beast.

Note the diet coke thrown in for scale. And here’s another shot with a standard size pen.

Yikes! That's 1600 yards of cashmere/merino blend. The helpful folks at school products instructed me to use size 10.5 needles and not to freak out if it looked and felt weird knitted up. The yarn is covered with spinning oil, and the FO must be washed in the washing machine to remove the oil and prompt the yarn to fill out. The swatch in the store felt bunny-soft.

I’m thinking I’d like to make a nice cozy sweater for myself, maybe with some cabling? Maybe not? Nothing too close fitting, and nothing with a turtleneck, because I think I’d die an itchy overheated death in about 10 minutes. Instead, maybe something akin to a big wearable blanket. Yet still flattering and not enormous. And knit on size 10.5 needles. Is that possible? Has anyone heard of such a thing? What have I gotten myself into?

Handspun Neckwarmer

2005-12-07T15:56:00.000-05:00

Sorry about the awful bathroom mirror shot and the dorky lawyer suit, I'll take a normal photo as soon as I find a satisfactory photographer. This neckwarmer was made from fabulous handspun Tramp yarn created over at Insubordiknit. I cast on 77 stitches and knit back and forth on big needles (size 10, I think?) in 6 x 1 ribbing. Once it reached about 10" I bound off and seamed it up to make a big tube. The kooky ribbing helped eliminate some of the curl and give it just a little bit of stretch.

My favorite thing about this neckwarmer (other than the awesome yarn, of course) is the lack of flappy scarf ends and the fact that it can be loose and slouchy, snug and cozy, or even up on the head over the ears.

I have a bit of a history with tube shaped neck garments. When I was in 8th grade, we used to shop at the Quaker Bridge Mall for all our '80s fashions. There was a Limited, Limited Express, Gap, and the elusive Units and Au Coton. Unsurprisingly, these stores no longer exist, but oooh how I loved them. The basic concept at Units involved semi stretchy cotton tubes of fabric (sometimes with sleeves) that you could layer. The smaller tubes were ideal as big wide belts (out of which you could generously blouse your shirt), way too tight mini skirts, and, my favorite, accent pieces for the neck area (we called them neckies). If memory serves, Au Coton had a bunch of oversized t-shirts and tank tops, but also sold the stretchy accent tubes. In a pinch, sometimes I'd also just tie a bandana around my neck. Yikes!

Terrifyingly, this winter neckwarmer is somehow reminiscent of those tragic 80s fashions, but I love it just the same.

Updated to add:

Here is a much better photos of my neckwarmer:

And a closeup:

And, in other exciting news, I've been invited to join the Spiders! Looking forward to meeting all of you on Friday night at the Point!

Need for Closure

2005-12-06T13:44:00.000-05:00

I haven't been very productive knit-wise as of late. First, I'm generally not a holiday gift knitter. I kinda stress out around the holidays, for no good reason. So, aside from the assorted random joke knitted gifts (beer cozies, goofy headbands, etc) I don't like to add to my holiday freakout by imposing knitting deadlines on myself. The only knitted gift I'm planning on is a pair of big fuzzy mittens.

Nevertheless, I think I need to light a little fire under my knitting self. I'm going on a great big trip on January 16th and I'd love to have ALL of my current projects finished before I go. (That way, I have a great excuse to start something exciting and new!) Soooo, I'm going to do a little list of all my knits in progress here for you all on the internets, in the hopes that it will shame me into finishing up some of these things!

Rogue – I am pathetic. I love this sweater and all I need to do is seam it up. Really, I should be ashamed of myself.

Union Square Market Sweater – This sweater needs one and a half sleeves and a collar, both of which need a little design help from me. Still, I should be able to finish this in one weekend morning of knitting.

Pink Socks – Oooh, I am sick of you pink socks. Your kool aid smell and non-stretchy yarn have me bored. I will finish you just so I can move on to new socks and be free of your Strawberry Shortcake colorway (for which I have only myself to blame).

Tannenbaum – You are fun! With beads! And jingly bells! And I am an ass if I don't finish you before Christmas. So you are very near the top of the list. And I love your lack of finishing. That bodes well.

Black Neckie – This yarn makes me smile, and the weather is getting cold. Things are looking good for this project. Very good. The only problem – does it need matching wristies?

Manos Sweater – Ha ha, internets – you didn't even know I had this sweater (or, um, vest). This is a sweater of my own design and, as such, is languishing now that I have finished knitting the easy parts. The elusive Manos Sweater has yet to be captured on film in the wild.

Green wrap – This is the Kimono shawl from Folk Shawls and it is so pretty and soft, but I have to pay attention when I knit it. Lately that's been asking a little too much. This one may not make the January 16 deadline. This one is also too elusive (or small?) for photographs.

Ok, that’s embarrassing. And it doesn't even include my cousin's mittens and the inevitable felted clogs. Or the unassembled baby sweaters and blankets hanging out under my bed, now way too small for their intended recipients.

I hereby vow to you, oh readers of the internet, that I will try very hard to have one completed knit item to post about tomorrow.

Shangri - Lion

2005-12-01T21:58:00.000-05:00

All of you New York knitters – I found something very unusual tonight. We hear people in other parts of the country asking each other about yarn snobbery. We hear talk of “Lion Brand” and “unnatural fibers” and perhaps we wonder what they speak of. People come to our fair city and they have yarn crawls. They go to Purl for the Lobster Pot Cashmere, the Point for the rainbow of Lorna’s, Habu for the funky stuff. We have no shortage of fancy-pants yarn.

But lets say I want to knit a little sweater for a friend’s 2 year old son. Do I want to buy 8 balls of Debbie Bliss Baby Cashmerino, or perhaps $100 worth of Koigu? Hooo, no. I want something cute, cheap, and machine washable. I want the Lion Brand Wool Ease. But where? Where is that mystery haven of cheap and squeaky yarn?

My secret goal, always, is to spend less on yarn than I would on the sweater, were I to buy it at, say, the Gap. Is this possible in Manhattan?

Oh yes. Yes it is.

There is Patons Kroy sock yarn (on sale!).

A bargain bin with skeins the size of my head!

And, my favorite, enough Patons classic merino to make 80,000 felted clogs.

I was lucky to escape with only enough for 2 or 3 more pairs.

(And $30 worth of notions and tulle, for a very different sparkly little project that I’ll blog about soon.)

But where? Where is this mecca of cheap ass yarn? Why, its PS Fabrics.

You can find it at 355 Broadway, about 3 blocks south of Canal Street. Grrrr.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

2005-11-30T20:19:00.000-05:00

I want to send a humungous thanks out to the mysterious Nancy who donated 6 skeins of Rowanspun dk in a beautiful pumpkin color and 6 more skeins of Rowanspun 4 ply in a luscious jewel green. Nancy – if you happen to come across my blog, please leave a comment or send me an email so I can thank you properly!

I love it...

No. That most certainly isn't my bathtub. Look, its Mount Rowan!

And great thanks and admiration go to Susan and Margene who organized Give a Little and raised $102,337.81 for victims of Hurricane Katrina. You guys did a fantastic job and I cant even imagine the amount of work that went into this project.

I already had to hide my delicious new yarn because I was itching to cast on right away. In fact, I happen to have a few balls of Yorkshire tweed 4 ply lurking in my stash in very complementary colors – I cant help but think this might be the start of my first fair isle project!

If anyone has any ideas, feel free to drop a comment or email - I definitely need a little help finding the perfect project for this beautiful yarn.

O Tannenbaum!

2005-11-28T19:40:00.000-05:00

Rather than work on some of the duller knitting projects I have lurking around, I started on a fun new hat - Tannenbaum. The pattern is available here and Deb has even started a knit-along.

What a fun knit! I'm using Louet Gems Opal Merino. The color is calledd charcoal but it looks like a dark gray/green to me. Definitely the color of an actual tree. Its a bit thicker than the Lorna's, so I began by casting on 114 stitches and working as directed for the second row of branches. I have a great variety of beads from Fun2Bead (6th and 38th for those of you in the NY area) and even a few little bells. This was the best picture I could get...

Felted Mules

2005-11-22T14:44:00.000-05:00

Over the weekend I needed some mindless football knitting. I couldn't resist – I had to make another pair of felted clogs (especially considering the fact that my original pair were summarily co-opted by J about 10 seconds after they dried).

I finished them up last night and felted them, but something went very very wrong somewhere along the line. The new clogs are on the left…

Same yarn, same pattern, same felting process, same knitter, same everything! But not the same clogs. Instead of the cute little lip on the back, these are more like old man slippers. Or felted mules. Big, floppy felted mules. See…

I'm hoping I can fix these up by cutting a V shaped notch in the back, sewing it shut, and refelting. If not, I'm just going to use them as potholders.

Perhaps this is a sign that I should just stop procrastinating and sew up my Rogue.

Really Long Socks

2005-11-19T09:11:00.000-05:00

Some days, you feel like a superhero. Like when your sockpal sends you superhero socks - thanks again Yarn Maven!

Some days, you need a little help getting to that superhero feeling. That's why I own these...

But every great boot needs a great boot sock. Or at least a really long boot sock. That's why I just knitted these...

Look, (with a little geknitic engineering) they're identical twins.

They're knitted from Elann's Sock it to Me! yarn (superwash wool and polyamide), one 50g/230yd ball per sock, in the Puzzle pattern. I used the Elann toe up sock pattern (free!) and size 1 needles.

I don't understand why, but they were a surprisingly quick knit. They just flew by. Socks rarely do this for me. Perhaps its a sign from the universe that my superpowers will be needed shortly?

Note: Superpowers include incorporating bacon into any recipe, calligraphing 100 wedding invitations in two days, and going from asleep to out-the-door each morning in under 17 minutes. Superpowers do not include folding fitted sheets, weaving in yarn ends (sorry Rogue), or styling my own hair.

Rogue at Last

2005-11-16T14:23:00.000-05:00

Here she is, bathing...

(Don't worry, she's not modest)

And relaxing...

(And I don't know how I'm going to use the bathroom for the next 24 hours)

And a closeup of my highly technical method for getting the edges to stay flat...

Its time for a knitting confession - I have never blocked before! I have no idea what I'm doing. So I just threw it in the tub, soaked for about 20 minutes, and laid it flat (more or less) on some towels. More pics to follow once she dries and gets sewn up.

Losing It

2005-11-15T23:30:00.000-05:00

Today I lost my shit. For real. Or, more accurately, I misplaced my shit. I feel like I spent the whole day rooting around my purse and office for various items, including my wallet (twice, both times found in coat pocket, duh), my office ID card (somehow lodged in sock-in-progress in purse), and my digital camera (yikes! still missing, hence the lack of photos).

Rather than yammer on about the annoyance that was the fifteenth of November, I’ll give a little knitting update. Inspired by the clever haiku over at Mason-Dixon Knitting, I’ll be presenting my update in the form of a really really bad sonnet.

The Rogue she is done
Time for rub-a-dub
But soaking? there’s none
Till I scrub the tub

The alpaca beast
With maths oh so hard
Knit the sleeves at least?
Or bury it in the yard

Xmas hat calls me
The lure of the bling
Need some green Lorna’s
And some sparkly thing(s)

Those are the knits that
are giving me fits.

Oooh - this is motivating me to dig out the melodramatic poems I wrote in college. Hooray for philosophical angst! But they are likely too embarassing to post.

SHAZAM!

2005-11-13T09:23:00.000-05:00

I got home from dinner last night all ho hum and la de dah when SHAZAM! I got the coolest socks ever in the mail!!

These are from the Yarn Maven and they are my make-up socks for Alison's sockapal2za. These socks are comfy and they fit perfectly. None of my friends or family members are knitters, so it is rare and exciting for me to receive a handknitted gift. And, since I am a knitter, I can tell that these socks are awesome! When I make socks they always have some weird bits, a lump in the toe, a gap at the ankle, stuff like that. These socks are flawless! And stretchy! And did I mention that they fit perfectly?

But, best of all, take a look at my lightning bolt...

and his..

A coincidence? I think not.

Thank you, Yarn Maven, for making me feel like a superhero!

The Best Laid Schemes

2005-11-11T12:30:00.000-05:00

I am a planner and a listmaker. I need to know what I'm doing, where I'm going, what is happening next. I need to cross tasks off in thick black pen once they are accomplished. I do not fly by the seat of my pants.

Lately, though, my best laid schemes, knitting and otherwise, have totally gang aft agley.

This is not what I planned for my beloved felted clogs.

(That is not my side of the bed.)

I did not write "untangle biggest koigu knot ever" on yesterday's task list.

And last night I tossed Rogue aside in pursuit of homemade chocolate crepes.

But the world did not explode, and the crepes were delicious, and maybe I need to practice letting go of the master plan just a little bit.

So maybe Rogue will get blocked this weekend or maybe it wont.

And maybe I'll spend the rest of my life working at a law firm or MAYBE I WONT!

Change is afoot around here and I am excited. And freaking out. Mostly freaking out.

Paging Dr. MeBeth

2005-11-09T14:55:00.000-05:00

Thank you all so much – I feel like I actually won the marathon, not just ran it! At least mentally. Physically I feel more like I got run over by a bus. But I didn’t feel bad enough to put off my trip to The Point yesterday to pick up that extra skein of black Cascade 220 for Rogue. I was definitely harboring secret thoughts of sock yarn and other naughty purchases, but when I arrived some sort of photo shoot was going on and I just paid and ran. Probably my quickest yarn store visit ever! But when I got home did I finish up the Rogue sleeve? Noooooo, I worked on a new sock. Even though I have plenty of lonely socks in search of loving mates, I just couldn't resist starting up a new one. I think my feet needed a special little treat as a post-marathon reward.

ATTENTION New Yorkers - last night I went to the coolest thing - Mt. Sinai Mini-Med School! This semester (6 Tuesday night sessions) is all about the brain.

Its interesting, educational, and FREE. Perfect for any frustrated lawyers who wanted to be doctors but just couldn't handle organic chemistry. (Not that I know anyone who might fit that description.) The lectures were funny, the topic was interesting, and no one seemed to care that I worked on my sock the entire time.

I MADE IT!!!

2005-11-07T12:53:00.000-05:00

It was slow, and it wasn’t pretty, but I finished my first marathon yesterday! It took me well over twice as long as Jelena Prokopcuka, the women’s winner, but not as long as three times Paul Tergat’s winning time. I suspect no one wants to do that kind of math on a Monday morning, so just trust me that it took a long time to run that far. I’m fine with that – my goal was to finish on foot, running most of the way – and I did it!

The best part of the NYC marathon is definitely the fans. Most of the course is lined with New Yorkers holding signs and cheering on the runners. My friends and family provided amazing support – they woke up early, traveled far, and missed lunch to cheer me on and hand me powergel and tissues. I’m just starting to realize what an amazing experience it was. And the best part about finishing the marathon – the refueling! My Aui Zhou Spicy Chicken, Dumplings, and Shrimp Toast should be arriving momentarily.

In knitting news, it seems that I was right about my limited portion of luck. I must have used it all up finishing the race because Rogue sleeve #2 is stalled for lack of yarn. As soon as I can walk again I’m headed out for one more skein of black Cascade 220. Thank you all so much for your good wishes - it was great to know that so many people out there were wishing me well as I stumbled over that finish line.

Wish Me Luck?

2005-11-05T11:23:00.000-05:00

Last night I was knitting away on the second Rogue sleeve when I noticed something alarming…

Not much left. I’m about to begin the decreases/bind offs for the sleeve cap, so there’s a good chance I’ll make it, but there’s also a decent chance I wont.

It’s a silly little superstition, but I believe that each person only gets a certain amount of luck. Not over the course of a lifetime, that’s too dreary to contemplate, but more like a weekly allowance. Lets say a 100 yard skein of luck is allotted to each person at the beginning of the week. For me, this has been a pretty good week. My cold went away, good things happened in office-land, and I didn’t drop anything on my toes. I feel like maybe I’ve used up a fair bit of my luck skein already. So there is NO WAY I’m using up those last few yards of luck on some cheap black Cascade 220.

Not when tomorrow is …

MARATHON DAY!!!

Felted Clogs

2005-11-03T11:52:00.000-05:00

Felting is so cool. The magic of it amazes me every single time. I always think I've made something way too big and it always shrinks right down. This shouldn't surprise me so much. I follow the pattern, I use the good math done by the smart patternmakers, I swatch and wash my swatch in hot water (no, actually I don't ever do that, but I might start someday). The best part about felting is the non-knitters. They stare and laugh and say "you're making what? Slippers for a sasquatch? A French Market Bag for an elephant?" and then, voila, they are jealous of my little furry purse or my comfy cozy clogs! Check it out.

Before

And After

These felted clogs (Fiber Trends Pattern) were a super fast knit. I started them on Sunday and finished them Tuesday night. And I'm not an unusually speedy knitter. I used size 13 needles with two strands of Patons Merino held together. I made the women's size 8 and they came out more like a 9 or 9.5, perfect for my amply sized feet. I don't have a top loading washer so I had to felt in a front loader. I ran them through two full washes in hot water/high agitation with two towels, a pair of jeans, a flannel shirt, and some random socks that snuck in somehow. Is it me, or do they look a little nervous?

Then I put them in the dryer cause I'm crazy like that. Over the next few days I suspect they'll start molding to my feet and into a more cloggy shape. What, more photos depicting the magic of felting? Ok!

Before

And After

Every Single One of Us the Devil Inside

2005-11-02T10:49:00.000-05:00

On Monday night some friends came over and we ate spooky enchiladas before heading over to the Village Halloween Parade. I love Halloween in New York.

And now for a meme from Lisa

What is your all-time favorite yarn to knit with?

Its got to be Zara, by Filatura Di Crosa. I've made a few baby sweaters out of this stuff and it is so soft and cushy to work with. I really need to make a Beth-sized sweater with this one.

Your favorite needles?

I'm not really that finicky about my needles. Although I typically use Addis and knit in the round when possible, I have a special love for regular aluminum needles. Maybe it’s the clicky noise, or maybe because that's what I learned on, but it somehow feels more like "real" knitting to me.

The worst thing you've ever knit?

Crocheted, actually. An enormous afghan (4 x 6, at least). I vowed to keep crocheting till I ran out of yarn and it took me about 3 years to get that thing finished. I took up knitting after that and haven't crocheted since!

Your most favorite knit pattern? (maybe you don't like wearing it…but it was the most fun to knit)

Rogue, even though it isn’t finished yet. My first real cabling project and such a well written and clear pattern.

Most valuable knitting technique?

I'm going to have to say cabling without a cable needle. I got so sick of fishing that little cable needle out from between the sofa cushions.

Best knit book or magazine?

Folk socks, by Nancy Bush. I have this mental picture of Nancy traveling the world, clutching a half knitted sock Harlot-style, asking probing questions of local knitters. Sort of like a CIA operative (Craft Intelligence Agency) back in the cold war days? I know that is weird, but that is what I imagine.

Your favorite knit-a-long?

I've only participated in one, for the Union Square Market Sweater, but it has been tremendously helpful in motivating me to keep working on the sweater (my current hiatus notwithstanding).

Your favorite knitblogs?

How about if I tell you my very favorite non-knitblogs just to mix things up a little? I love Miss Doxie, The Amateur Gourmet, Mimi Smartypants, and Twelve Two Two Fondue.

Your favorite knitwear designer?

Again, I’m going to go with Nancy Bush. There are tons of great designers whose work I love, but Nancy actually managed to get me really excited about socks, which I never thought I’d be.

The knit item you wear the most? (how about a picture of it!)

Wow, it isn't easy to take pictures of a Clapotis and a Devil Hat while you’re wearing them.

And tomorrow, some felted clogs!

New Clogs Soon

2005-10-31T14:36:00.000-05:00

Thank you for all of your encouraging words about the marathon! I think it would be hilarious to incorporate a knitted item into my outfit, but I think the extra weight might be the straw that breaks my back. Instead, I'm going to lend my knitted devil hat (navy with red horns) to my mom so she's easier for me to spot while running, and maybe she'll even wear her Vegan fox.

On Friday afternoon I went over to Stitches (not my favorite LYS, but dangerously close to the office) to pick up a little more black Cascade 220 in case I run out before I finish Rogue sleeve #2. They had none, so I was forced to spend my money on other yarn because I don't have enough unfinished projects sitting around the house. I got four balls of Patons merino in black and gray so that I can make a pair (or two) of Fiber Trends felted clogs.

I already started and the pattern is wild. Most knitting patterns are fairly intuitive and you can cruise along for a while without obsessively checking the instructions for each row. Not so much with the clogs. Every row is like k2, m1, k1, m1, k32, m1, ssk, turn work, p1, p2tog, p47, do the hokey pokey, p1. I'm totally unable to predict what's going to come next. But it is addictive because they're knitted holding two strands together using size 13 needles and they go FAST! The immediate gratification is so worth the hand pain from knitting with drumsticks. Next I'm going to make a sweater like that – a big puffy thing that I can knit up in 20 minutes.

Tonight I'm having a brother and friends over for spooky enchiladas and then we're headed downtown for the Halloween parade, so I should have some GREAT pictures tomorrow.

Lots of Coffee

2005-10-28T07:57:00.000-04:00

Knitters – do you ever wear a “beacon” knitted item to a crowded nonknitting event just to see if there are others in the crowd? I feel like it must act as a homing signal; “Here I am, come talk to me, I am a knitter.” I must confess that I do it, and I feel a little sad on the subway when no one asks “Is that a clapotis?” If you see a girl with messy hair on the subway wearing a blue clapotis, and maybe rubbing it against her face a little because its sooo soft, just say hi!

I finally have my voice back, sort of, and I’m feeling a bit better. This morning is the first time I’ve had caffeine in a week and WOW! I feel like if I jumped I’d stick to the ceiling like a cartoon cat. Maybe I wasn’t sick after all, maybe I just needed some coffee?

I don’t know if I’m going to be able to function at work, or if I’ll just run very fast in tiny circles around my desk. Now I’m wondering if I should lay off the caffeine for another week and then fuel up right before and throughout the marathon. Surely it isn’t wise to shock my body too much, but a little performance enhancing of the Javanese variety might be just what I need.

Yep, the marathon. Next Sunday (November 6) I’ll be running the NYC marathon. I am ill prepared, slightly injured, and have never run more than 18 miles in my life. Until a month ago I had never run more than 13 miles. Until two months ago, I had never run more than 6 miles. Not ideal conditions. But, as J pointed out, it really adds to the suspense of whether I’m going to finish, which makes things much more exciting for my fans. My new training strategy is just to eat carbs like crazy for the next week; fun for me, horrifying for supermodels everywhere.

In knitting news, Rogue sleeve #2 is rolling along, but things are getting tense as the last skein is quickly being depleted. This weekend should reveal whether I’ll make it through, or whether sleevecap #2 will be a contrasting and exciting new black dyelot.

Sickly

2005-10-25T10:12:00.000-04:00

I am sick and I am not leaving the couch today. Blech.

There are pros and cons to being sick. The cons: achy head, twitchy inability to concentrate, I’m hot, no, I’m cold, oh, I’m hot again, and so on, constant need to get off the couch for tea and tissues, etc.

And I am the only sick person I know whose appetite increases and who gains weight when she’s sick. Most folks lie around getting all wan and slender, but I go for everything in sight, the spicier the better.

But the pro: WAY more knitting time. I expect great progress on the second Rogue sleeve by the end of the day.

Lemon Lady

2005-10-21T14:28:00.000-04:00

Sleevey progress!

But because pictures of a growing sleeve are pretty dull, I'll share another photo with you. Seen at my deli at lunch today...

Sproing

2005-10-20T16:00:00.000-04:00

I've read many blogs where knitters describe yarn as sproingy and now I finally know what they mean. Now that the alpaca and I are "taking some time apart" I'm back to my Rogue. (You blog readers didn't know that I was working on a Rogue, because that was pre-blog, but I was, and I cast it aside the moment the mercury crept over 70 degrees.) Not just any Rogue, my Rogue is multicolored!

When I tossed it away it was nothing more than a sleeveless vest in dire need of blocking, but I'm making progress on sleeve #1. See…

(Sorry about the dreadful picture, the yarn is black.) I cant believe how sproingy (yes, I finally get it) and lovely this yarn feels after that alpaca! Alpaca is essentially sproingless and I now know that sproingyness is a quality I appreciate in my yarn. And you know what I'm knitting with??? Cascade 220. Just imagine how I'm going to feel when I get my hands on the fancy yarns in the special box under my bed. I may never leave the house again.

USM in Purgatory

2005-10-17T19:00:00.000-04:00

I spent part of the weekend knitting away on the sleeve of my USM sweater but, last night, after knitting about 10 inches, I finally admitted to myself that the whole thing looks like crap.

Rather than rip out, continue knitting, or start the other sleeve for comparison, I chose option D, what any sensible knitter would do, and threw it in the corner on top of the Purgatory Laundry Pile. (Garments that have been worn, but not worn so much that they are actually dirty. For example, the yoga pants I put on when I escape the office, but only wear for a few hours before bed. You all know what I'm talking about, don't even try to pretend you wear this stuff for two hours and put it in the wash.)

I think maybe I need a little break from the USM sweater because I'm starting to hate it with a burning scratchy passion. Especially the alpaca, which I'm starting to think is actually evil and trying to do me harm. I first became concerned when my spit splicing attempt gave me a coughing fit. Could it be that the alpaca does not want to be part of a sweater? That it is not interested in playing on the knitting team? Why is it jumping into my throat this way? As I sit here writing about it I feel all nettle-throated, like it is choking me from afar. And the red spot on my hand, and the weird looking short rows, and the fuzz bunny behind the chair. All the fault of the ALPACA! So I think me and the sweater need a little time apart to reevaluate our relationship and our priorities.

This will give me time to work on some other WIPs like my cozy Manos sweater, (my own design), the sleeves of my Rogue (such a great sweater, neglected when the weather warmed up), the Kimono Shawl from Folk Shawls, and my neck thingy out of Insubordiknit handspun.

TTFN Alpaca!

Barney Rubble?

2005-10-14T10:17:00.000-04:00

I made some good progress on the USM sweater – I knitted up the front and back, and basted the shoulders together so I could try it on. Here it is…

J laughed his head off and said that I looked like Barney Rubble!

Nice. You can see what I supportive knitting environment I live in. It’s a wonder I knit at all. And you can be sure that I don't knit anything for that ungrateful wretch J. In fact, he lives in fear of hand knitted garments. When he is being particularly pesky (daily) I threaten him with reindeer sweaters and pom pom hats.

Nevertheless, I see his point - hopefully when I add the neck (a deep U neck edged in green) it will resemble Barney's vest-dress a little bit less. And I think I should probably add some sleeves, no? One question though - will the green neck edging, green bottom trim and green sleeve tips be too cutesy matchey? Keep in mind that my typical outfit is black with accents of gray. I could do the U neck edging in brown instead, if that would look less dopey. I'm just not sure, but I'm hoping to play around with it a bit more tonight. Until then, Yabba Dabba Doo!

Breaking news, Knitted Robots ! Some are even wearing sweaters and pearls. I think one of them wants to come live with me. Thank you R. Raisinhater for this excellent link!

Union Square Progress (but not much)

2005-10-12T08:26:00.000-04:00

I finally got back to work on the USM pullover. I had about two hours on the train yesterday and I finished up the back and started work on the front. As I mentioned before, I'm sort of fooling around with the design and trying to make a deep green trimmed U in the front. So far it looks like this...

I was initially going to knit the green trim as part of the design, but I think that method will cause the neckline to curl in on itself incessantly. Instead, I'm leaving out the green trim on the sides and, at the end, I'm going to pick up stitches (sort of like a button band) and knit the trim, hemming it under just like the bottom and shoulder portions. I'm not sure if this will actually work, and whether it will be too bulky, but it seems like the best way to get this slippy alpaca to keep its shape. I suspect I'll also need to follow the short row shaping in the original pattern, otherwise the points of the U will be up on my neck in a miserable and itchy way. I wish I could stay home on this gray and rainy day to finish the front of this sweater, but off to work I go. Many times I've considered trying to knit secretly under my desk, perhaps today is the day.

My Weekend

2005-10-10T14:43:00.000-04:00

There are times in life when you want to have a little privacy. Sometimes you want an extra special lot of privacy. Lets just imagine that it is one of those times, and perhaps you, the privacy-seeker, are sitting, seeking privacy, in a special private room on a special special seat (yes, perhaps you know what I am saying now? The special seat with the magical flushing properties?) And so you are sitting, having special private time, and perhaps flipping through a weekly publication, when out of the corner of your eye you see a little twitch.

“Hmmm,” you think to yourself, “was that a little twitch over there near the tub?” No, no, perhaps it was just an eye spasm.

“TWITCH!!!”

“Yes, perhaps that was a little twitch, perhaps I will casually cast my eyes twitch-ward and see what might be making that twitchy motion,” you may think casually to yourself.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

And then you realize that your special private time is not so special or private because you have a little companion, your old friend periplaneta americana, the American cockroach. And he is watching you poo. And he has a really good seat, right up by all the action. And he is BIG. He is thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis long, not including his wavy antler things. And he looks like maybe he is starting to feel restless, and he might want to get in on the excitement a little.

And now you are in a very bad situation. You do some leaping (partially-clad) and screaming of “DIE DIE YOU M*&!#RF@#%#R” and some other not so nice language. The perverty roach spectator does not like this one bit, and there is running and leaping on his part, and most likely little roachy screaming as well. And you kill him, almost, with a well aimed flip flop. You thank the lord above that this one time you managed to pull out some kind of hand eye coordination that was never there in middle school (perhaps the lack of clothing helps unfetter your throwing arm?). But the killing is not complete and he starts up, much slower now, with more of the twitching and lazy antler waving. And you prepare yourself accordingly (by using half a roll of toilet paper to insulate your hand from his body) and dispatch him to the only fitting place, since he was soooo interested in the first place, and flush him around and down.

And how was your weekend?